Over the last three years of my life I have spent it traveling across the country working with a talent agency, going to school as a full time student loaded up on hours to knock out a degree I didnt even finish. I carry two jobs and cant keep my health up for the life of me right now....During that same time I have walked toward God cautiously and surely and have made a multitude of discoveries through his wisdom, that have left me cold and empty on the inside. These discoveries about life and what truly matters have forced me to look at myself and all of the time that I have spent busting my tail, granted without the decisions that I have made I would not be engaged to the beuatiful woman I am engaged to or met many of the friends that I have met or even begun to walk back to God. But in learning about what is truly important, esspecially learning about love you begin to realize that all this time that you are wasting is truly good for the time that it leaves you with....nothing... I sit in my biology class and ask myself wy is it that my assignment grade looks nothing like my test grade I realize that I spend more time filling in blanks on a dumb paper than I do in my head. I waste 16 weeks of my life learning nothing about biology yet I can take 1 month and learn more about God than I ever could have done in 16 weeks of filling in blanks. I have lost so much time loving others spending it on expended energy that On today when my grandfather dies that I cant help but realize that I havent seen that man since I was 8 and to know that it was no fault but my own leaves me wondering if this wasted time is worth it. I am again in school to be certified to do something I am already doing. Learning more in my free time than when I am in a class room. Yet every time I here this lie that school is somehow supposed to mean something that my parents generation and grandparents generation tells me I believe it. I read 1 Corinthians 13 -If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. What the heck am I doing....I dont see the point in all of this wasted time. I dont believe that it is my duty to collect stars to show off to others. I believe its my duty to give those stars to others. I cant do that when doing what I am doing. I just cant. Im sorry grandpa Lee. I wish I could go back and make up for the lost time, but I will never have the opportunity. I just hope that other people can learn from my mistake and love the way God intende , like I am sure that you did....R.I.P.
Posted on: Mon, 17 Nov 2014 19:00:06 +0000
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