Overwhelmed! Yesterday was so overwhelming that I wish it was a dream. I woke up to my legs being bruised (as some of you saw from posted picture) my platelets are low, common but not pretty side effect. I received my second opinion which was the same as the first, surgical removal of my tumors is not suggested at this time. I had that hard to breath panic take over me. What am I going to do? Im going to be paralyzed! It hurts to walk! I have no income! Im losing my health insurance, will have to pay for Cobra!! Breathe Tara, count to ten. Let me call my dad and hell calm me down. Well I forget he has his own issues which was evident in our conversation as he was talking about his pension and 401K. As I listened I remembered Ive been the one he has depended on, Im his health care proxy, Ive helped him, hes use to me being the listener and him the venter. I listened and played the role of the strong bull. The conversation simply ended with Love you dad, talk to you tomorrow. As I laid in bed I knew, no matter the support system, no matter the situation, the problem solving, the uplifting of spirits, it all starts with me. I have to depend on me to make things happen. Sometimes you just have to dig deeper for that strength. I like to think Im pretty strong with a few weak days here and there. I never was able to discuss my second opinion with dad. Im still at a crossroads on beginning any form of treatment. Ive been living a natural, real food lifestyle for 34 days and I feel good. I do have a belief that cellular malfunction is caused from deficiency and toxicity to our cells. Im shifting my body back into repair mode. Im doing this one day at a time and it will be successful. Its a scary thing wondering what is the right decision, almost a game of Russian Roulette. Next up is hearing the reasons that SRS Therapy can save me. Until then I continue to live, laugh, love embrace and be grateful for each healthy day I have.
Posted on: Thu, 04 Sep 2014 17:16:06 +0000
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