PRESS STATEMENT Tuesday 1st April 2014 I am delighted to announce my appointment to the Department of Finance as Special Assistant with responsibility for Making-Sure-All-The-Calculators-Have-Working-Batteries After a prolonged internal investigation following the Budget 2014 in October last it came to light that the Ministers most senior advisors involved in drafting the Finance Bill had been using calculators with seriously under-powered batteries. Mr Noonan himself had been using a calculator with totally dead batteries for more than two years without being aware of it. My new role carries a salary of € 41,656,210.76 with expenses of € 80,085 and a pension of €15 gajillion euro after 17 minutes service plus a lump sum payment of €14.50 when my dog turns 9. I look forward to working with the Minister and hope that I can be of incalculable service to my country, as he has. Call for a revolution in Ireland
Posted on: Tue, 01 Apr 2014 12:03:02 +0000
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