> > Paddy > shouts frantically into > the phone My wife is pregnant and her > > > contractions are only two > minutes apart! > > > Is this her first child? asks the > Doctor. > > > > No, shouts Paddy, this is her > husband! > > > ------------ > --------- --------- --------- --------- > > > An old Irish farmers dog > goes missing and hes inconsolable. > > > His wife says Why dont you > put an advert in the paper? > > > He does, but two weeks later the dog > is still missing. > > > What did you put in the paper? his > wife > asks. > > > Here boy he replies. > > > ------------ --------- > --------- --------- --------- > > > Paddys in jail. Guard looks in his > cell and sees him hanging by his > > > feet. > > > What on earth > you doing? he asks. > > > Hanging myself Paddy replies. > > > > It should be around your neck says the Guard. > > > I know says Paddy > but I couldnt breathe. > > > ----------------------- ------------ > -------------- > > > An answer I can understand. An American tourist > asks > an Irishman: > > > Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards > off their > boats? > > > To which the Irishman replies: They have to > go backwards. > If they > > > fell forwards, theyd still be in the > boat. > > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > > > > > > Paddy rings his new girlfriends door bell, > with a big bunch > of > > > flowers. She opens the door, sees the flowers, and > drags him in. > She lies > > > back on the couch, pulls her skirt up, rips her > knickers > off and says > > > This > > > is for the flowers! > > > > Dont be silly, says Paddy, You must have > a vase somewhere!
Posted on: Sat, 23 Nov 2013 12:10:14 +0000
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