Pam fights Cancer October 20, 2014 Day 46 Woke up with butterflies in my stomach, the excitement of going home to see our kids and grand-kids and the trepidation of what we might find out at Pam’s appointment were both rolling around in my gut. We get dressed, I load the car with our luggage and I check us out of the hotel. We stop to fill the car up and now we’re on the road to the hospital. While I’m driving Pam is quiet and I’m making small talk. I finally asked her how she was feeling and if she is ready to go home, myself that’s almost all I can think of. ”First and foremost, today I’m worried what the pathology report is going to contain. I’ve prepared myself for the worst news, I know it’s been bad already having to have surgery, but was the tumor cancerous? Am I done or will I have to have other treatments? (Here she gets a tad bit emotional, I let her fight through it and say nothing). “I just want to put this all behind us. They may want me to stay longer. What if they want us to stay longer?” “We’ll figure it out as we go” I say. Upon reaching the hospital we park the car then get her checked in, we’re a little early. Straightaway she has to do blood-work, she is in and out of that in a hurry! Then we check in with Dr. Gil’s receptionist and she has us take a seat. A few minutes after sitting we see Dr. Gil come around the corner and he kind of smiles at us as he walks past. I can hear him behind me ask his girls who he is seeing next. We have to be on the short list! The wait seems like it takes forever before Pam is called back to the exam room (it was only a few minutes). The nurse takes her BP and temp, her temp is 99.7. “The doctor will be in to see you shortly”. Again we wait, Pam is concerned because she continues to have a low grade fever that comes and goes. When the doctor enters the room we are surprised, it is not Dr. Gil! It is clear immediately that this guy will be going over whatever needs to be gone over and Pam shoots me a look that says “Who is this guy”? “I shrug back my answer. He tells us he was in on the operation and that things went smoothly. Pam (somewhat teary eyed and voice cracking) asks about the pathology report. This is what it’s all going to boil down to. The doctor says “I can’t tell you” Pam interrupts him, “why is it bad? Is there something you don’t want to tell me” “No, no, it’s nothing like that. The report is not ready. We thought it would be by today, but when I called, the pathologist couldn’t find it”. “Are you trying to tell me they lost my report!?” No, not at all, he can’t find it because it’s not in the system yet. We will probably get it later this week and call you with the results.” I can see some of the air leave her balloon with this revelation. She/we wanted to know where she stood. Because of her fever and some tingling in her legs he showed some concern and we were afraid he was going to re-admit her to the hospital. Instead he ordered some more blood work that she can do in Hanford. By 1pm we are on the road headed home. No report leaves us in the dark and we have no answer to the biggest question of our lives. So it gets to hang over our heads a while longer. We’re not happy. We are disappointed in the lack of communication from the surgeon, we are starting to wonder if Dr. Gil was there at all or was it all done by his subordinates? Many questions, no answers. Pam catnaps most of the trip home. I listen to music and concentrate on driving as safely as possible. I feel like our car has a big bulls eye on it as cars and trucks dodge and dive all around it the whole trip home. Home! Nick and Miah come out to greet us in the driveway. When it’s my turn I scoop up my little guy and hold him close. My throat is tight but I hold it together. Home. Ahhhh. After a bit Pam tells my Mom and Gene all about our trip and we hear about their week too and their adventures. Back with family and all that goes with it. It’s good to be home. :) :) :) Later, Breezy, Jamie and the girls come by and Nana and grandpa get more hugs and kisses. I’ve missed these pretty little faces and I tell them that. There is more to write, but I’m tired and it’s nothing that won’t keep for now. What will tomorrow bring?
Posted on: Tue, 21 Oct 2014 08:17:07 +0000
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