Part 2 of facebook/louisianfiles/posts/545947585488994 It was already there, she got the books, shes out of my sight, theres no way for me to wuss out. I am no romantic person but for her I am willing to be one. So I guess the note was the first step. This is something that my mind had figured out not my manly urges, so I know that this is real. Later that day she texted me, Yung paper, ano yun? I suddenly wussed out. Meron ba? Baka I left it lang or used it as a bookmark. It took a long time for her to reply, as a coffee person I get severely nervous very often. I banged my head on my desk several times, then my phone vibrated. She said, Okay, tell me the truth JD (not my real name :D) are you asking me out on a date? Uh, yes. Is it not okay? Because if its not its fine. Its just a friendly date. I dont have any intentions to sleep with you or anything close to that. To tell you the truth, its not fine. Rejection is one of the things I hate the most. Besides being rejected, Ill feel stupid because I did something I wasnt supposed to do. Shes an instructor and Im just a student. There are rules and its one of my neurosis to follow rules. For her, I was willing to break out of that shell. I have been holding back because I have fears of getting hurt, rejected, what have you. But this made me feel like I have to. I havent receive any text from her after that night, I waited, again. This time the anxiety is 1000000x times stronger than the first. Then one day, Im done with the books, Ill give them back....OVER COFFEE MAYBE? :) I couldnt contain the feeling, I was in ecstasy. I wanted to play it cool like, yeah, sure whatever. (JK) but its via text so she cant feel my excitement. really? thank you for not making me feel stupid about this. Stupid? How? Because I thought this is going to be a big mistake, you wouldnt risk your job for me would you? so I felt like, youre gonna say no. So how does Sunday sound? Okay see you then. Saan? I would say Id come pick you up at your place but I dont know where you live.lol may car ka? rich kid ka pala. (address) No comment on that, lol. okay see you then. First date: N-E-R-V-O-U-S. Like seriously. I really dont know what to do, I tried to look simple, shirt, pants, shoes...done..but it seemed like there was no effort so I changed and wore a buttoned down shirt. So Im set, off to her place. The drive there was longer than I wouldve ever imagined. Nervous, excited, happy, the feeling was, indescribable. I saw her and wtf, shes even prettier to me. I got out of the car. Hi :) so lets go? Okay. I opened the door for her, thats what a proper gentleman would do, right? On our way to the place, we talked about our lives. There were awkward silences but I managed to get us out of those. :D I chose the place, not too much people and its where I would least expect to find schoolmates. So it was kinda safe. Before we got out she said, Friendly ha? FRIENDLY. I smiled and said, yeah, okay :) I pulled out a chair for her and act as gentleman-y (whut? :D) as possible. We talked about the books, our lives but never our relationships. I didnt know how to bring it up or will I ever bring it up. I waited for her but she didnt. We felt really comfortable around each other. When I brought out my wallet, my lighter fell and she gave me a snide look. Naninigarilyo ka? she said. I leaned on my seat, brushed my hands against my face, strike one. Uh, yeah. I pretended to check my phone to avoid that awkward moment but I know that shes still looking at me. She told me So nag babar ka din, umuinom ka, mabarkada? no, I barely get through one beer and the last time I went to a bar was last year and I was forced to go, why would I even bother to go to those places if I could just play songs and dance around my room while I flicker my lights on and off. She smirked. ah, ayoko lang kasi sa mabisyo. Hindi po ako mabisyo, eto lang po yung bisyo ko. It seemed like she wasnt that convinced with what I said, she slightly drew a line. The awkward silence is deafening so I cracked it by saying. so, FRIEND tell me something personal. I just got out from a horrible relationship. A horrible one huh? how bad was it, were you abused? No, its a long story, to cut it short, nagka anak kami, pero hindi kami kasal. We were forced to stay together. ah, so wheres your child? Hes with me, I broke up with his dad a year ago. Hindi naman sa nagkukulang siya pero I just dont think we loved each other to continue, I have thought about the consequences and what itll do to my son. Maiintindihan din niya to. That was something I didnt expect, it made this even harder, not because of the child but because of what shes been through and if I try to make this work, I HAVE TO REALLY WORK IT OUT. part 3 coming up shortly Salinger 4th S*** 211*****
Posted on: Wed, 04 Dec 2013 11:56:57 +0000
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