Partway into today I could already tell I was gonna start having trouble. Ive been an emotional roller-coaster over the past couple of weeks with no real consistency or reason for my moods. So many things happening all at once I guess, so many options, so many voices around me and in my head... gaaahh!! So I just stopped, pulled the car over, turned it off, and sat for a second. I closed my eyes. I took some deep breaths and cleared my mind for a second. And I cant really explain it, but the first thought that popped into my mind was, Everything actually IS okay. I tossed the idea around more. Okay, I have a car I can use. Sure its not mine, but it runs, looks nice and gets the job done. Thanks mom & dad for letting me borrow it :) And I have a roof and a place to call home. Its not big or fancy but it suits me just fine. Its the people in it that make it the home anyway. And I have a job and a savings account thats steadily growing. And I have THE BEST people there looking out for me and who I can say ANYTHING to, that means you Rora Dawn Lori Paulsrud , Matt Prescott, Tyroan James Rediske, Cierra Ritchie, Greg Trail (even though you dont have a fb yet :( ) , and all yall who know I meant to tag you but didn :) And I realized that life hasnt been that bad after all... And then the rest of today was great :) ... I felt more energy and happiness in life than Ive felt in a looooonnnngggg time, and Im still feeling great as we speak. Work was easier, and life in general went well today. And to top it off, I now finally, actually have some semblance of a plan of what to do with myself this year and even potentially the next few. It will be announced at a point in the near future after a bit more research. I know that many of you reading this may or will not like it once I share it, but I hate to break it to ya with all due respect that it is actually MY life, not yours, so accept the whole package or dont bother at all, thank you :) but I have a feeling many of you will also be proud of my decision. Just be prepared to not see me in person for a while... And so now I will get home, eat dinner, jog for a while, and work on my book which I havent done in a while! And I will hopefully continue feeling Frosted Flakes - grrrrRRREAT!! ;) So rest assured that I am back to my normal old self again. Ive learned, Ive struggled, Ive fallen, and now Im brushing off dust and moving on. Come what may, I feel ready.
Posted on: Tue, 12 Aug 2014 03:46:26 +0000
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