People have flow charts in their heads that they are familiar with and they trust due to constant use but which they have not planned or even checked out to ensure they will result in choices that maximize happiness. When those choice patterns result in conflict they blame the person who has different choice patterns, judging their own superior by virtue of whatever excuse they can latch onto at the moment, but ultimately because they have absolved themselves of responsibility for whether their method of choosing is valid or not, merely assuming the attitude that it is them and that is that. It is what it is, and its as good as anyones - probably better than most, so any other person should be glad that they arent worse, and take what they get. Those simplistic and uncertain methods of choosing however, are the root source of all the unresolved conflicts and unhappiness that results in their life, which they blame on circumstances which do not fit their wonky way of deciding what to trust and who. Those who have a more certain and less self assuming way of thinking and deciding might object to these methods, especially when they are leading to egregious errors. Most people do not even take their heart in hand - to decide what is actually most valuable - even enough to recognize that: it is what is lovable or beautiful and leaves us a lasting joy and increased happiness, that all value ultimately is to appreciated by. Once this first fact is realized, all who do now have a common goal, a common point to reason things out over, a point of reference that all can agree on, and negotiate to. Accumulating happiness therefore becomes the measure we use to test and compare behaviors, such as the decision flow charts in our heads we have taken for granted. Right and wrong becomes: is this the happiest way or can I learn a better way now? We start to take our ways of thinking as our greatest science project, to ensure that our decisions are maximizing our happiness - and then we ask - why OUR happiness. Our happiness is most lovable? Do we not also love others happiness? Is not our own happiness just the happiness of a human being we know and love, and that of another we could know and love might be just as lovable, if only we knew them too? Is our love really concerned with us alone just by happenstance, or do we find that the more we know others the more we are concerned for them as well? If so, it then suggests that love is not selfish - but concerned with the whole, merely looking out from us, not self serving, but wishes well for all that is lovable, all that we CAN love. When we love the most we can and serve it in the best way possible that maximizes its lovable condition, we will be as happy as we can make our behavior work for us. But we will also have made others as happy as we make our behavior work for them. When anyone lives this way, it is important to recognize the potential in other people. An interior designer must recognize what their skills could do for a house in less than optimal condition, so that they can choose where they can make the most difference. A difference maker seeks the happiness of humanity - naturally, does the same thing. A home buyer with imagination to see what life would be like for them in a new place under their influence may find somewhere they have a strong affinity for, even though it requires a few changes to the decor before it allows them to live comfortably there. Nevertheless, such a buyer may see that the house is severely misused and neglected and much less fully appreciated by its current tenants and managers. He may also see that the self maintaining features of the house are malfunctioning and thus degrading its condition to the point that it may not continue to be salvageable very much longer. It might seem to be a tragic travesty to see this happening, whereas the house should be treated much better, and could be resulting in much happiness instead of the mess that it is now in, which has its own good feel due to the classiness of the rest of the house, but that wastes its potential, and everyone sees has little lasting importance. Nevertheless, keeping it out of the hands of the person loves it is important to them. They lie, cheat, and steal to maintain control, damaging the house ever increasingly. They doubt the intentions of the new buyer, and care not for any home improvement. They are afraid that if the house is changed for the better it will be out of their price range, they might lose access to it, and though it is now better for someone happier, what about them? They didnt mind the messiness, they wanted to mess around in it. The house didnt know what was going on at all, and not capable of choosing anyone. The true owner of the house was in a coma, didnt know it was being misused at all. She woke up, and kicked the tenants out, let the new buyer in, and lived there again. She had met the person before, liked him, was thinking of doing that very thing, but she was attacked when he wasnt there, and he never was able to reach her again. Finally, some of his messages managed to reach her in the hospital after she woke.
Posted on: Mon, 11 Nov 2013 19:20:25 +0000
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