People will tell you that through your pain you grow as a person, which I agree is true, but honestly, some days just breathing seemed difficult for me to do. It seemed like everyone had it all together but me. Do you ever feel like you’re in a sinking ship with no lifeline? Trying to understand the strong intense feeling of just wanting to escape your situation and to not feel anything. Not feeling any sense of normal. Are you functioning properly, just going through the motions of each day, wanting the crisis to just fix itself and everything it has damaged or hurt inside of you? Some of us wear masks to hide from others the pain we are feeling for fear of being judged. It’s stupid, we tell ourselve’s it’s not ok to feel what we are feeling yet our advice to someone going through the same situation would not be as harsh as the expectations we place on ourselves. My whole life that I knew as normal was totally torn apart. My identity and who I was had changed also. After just sharing how everything was falling apart in every area of my life, my health was affected by extreme levels of stress, nd it was just too overwhelming and my head couldn’t keep up with the changes. Emotionally I just wasn’t coping. I would try and put plans into place to try and gain some sense of control, when it seemed like everything happening around me was out of my control. It was my only way of trying to find something stable for me. I was so desperately looking for some stability in my life, when I had none. That’s right, as the words came out of my mouth I realised I was not even really looking after myself. Awareness and acceptance of your circumstances and where you are emotionally is a start. Healing is not about having to take it all on yourself. It’s taking the time to work through all the feelings and the roller coaster of emotions. Stop trying to be normal or your version of normal when after huge changes or loss you aren’t in a normal situation right now. It will pass. Sometimes it’s just when we focus on what we can’t change that we fall into a hole. Some things in life are out of our control and can really hurt us emotionally, it is then that we need to shift our focus on the things we can control, and change, in different areas of our life. Im not saying that its easy, its really hard some days to do. Whats the other option, being trapped in our own emotional box with the invisable chains we place on ourselves. Take just one day at a time, deal just with what’s in that day and remember to breathe. It will pass. Surround yourself with positive supportive friends or family who will allow you to be yourself without any judgement. You cant do the same things over and over and expect a different result. If nothing changes, nothing changes. Remember no matter how dark it gets, there is always a light at the end. Never ever give up on your life. You are loved, you are special, you have a purpose, your life is a gift, you matter, you are precious worth more than diamonds or gold, you are strong even when you feel weak, you are beautiful in heart and soul, you are priceless, you have inner strength. You are perfect just the way you are. Small steps and changes keep moving you forward.
Posted on: Wed, 19 Mar 2014 13:39:02 +0000