Perhaps I over reacted today. Perhaps Ive been worn down by poverty and daily struggles to care for my family and myself. Perhaps I was just in a mood. Either way, I find people without the ability to make sensible on-the-spot decisions to be abundant in certain demographics. They try and live the life of good people by helping the needy. It makes them feel good about themselves. Heres the rub though. They are incapable of making meaningful allowances for certain circumstances. They follow others so completely that they can not see the hypocrisy of turning away people in need because they dont have things that society thinks they should have. In 2012, I tried to get into a church-run garage sale that was quite large and attracted many thrifty people. The parking lot was full of cars so I am making a huge assumption that a majority of the people had enough money to drive a vehicle let alone feed and house their families. Enough money to cover the $2 entrance fee even. Im not judging anybody for it though. We also were parked in that same parking lot. When I politely asked if we could be excused of the $4 entrance fee as it was the money we had to buy needed items for our daughter, we were turned away. The fee was to cover the cost of the table rentals. Period. (Because without our $4 they would not be able to operate the entire sale.) Even after explaining that sales such as that one was the only way I could provide my family simple luxuries such as clothing or kitchen items, I was again apologetically turned away. None of the people watching (whom I suspect were members of the church) offered to help or suggest to the girl that it would be alright if she let us in. I am not upset by that, people are not obligated to help you when you need it. I am upset that even after my husband and baby would wait outside, I was denied the opportunity to look inside to see if it was worth spending my precious $2 entrance fee to shop there. Nope. I went home in tears that day. I felt so low for hours. Not because rules were rules, but because I wasnt worth it as a human being to be helped by other human beings who were supposedly doing good things for people like me. Today I was asked to remove my backpack while I shopped at Salvation Army in Chilliwack, B.C. I politely declined explaining that it was my purse and that I kept all of my valuables and personal items inside it. I was told the rules were that all backpacks were required to be checked at the counter. It would be placed under a blanket so it would not be noticeable (not that everyone around me didnt notice the conversation I was having). I declined again and stated that I would have to shop somewhere else then and I called to my husband to say we were leaving the store immediately. I explained the situation to him when we were outside and he put things in perspective for me. I conceded that my backpack may need to stay at the counter and I could carry the contents with me in my smaller bag that contains my asthma medicine (I can have instant attacks and I require medication within one minute of an attack, but sooner is better) and my wallet. For those of you who are not aware, I suffer from bouts of chronic back and neck pain. I am still fighting the tail end of a painful spell. I am not able to carry a purse with my things in it because I strain my back if slung over only one shoulder and my pain increases and/or the duration of the pain is extended. Instead, I have a handy lightweight bag that I can wear by supporting the bag from both shoulders. It rests comfortably on my back but it is awkward to bicycle with. Ergo, my backpack. We went back into the store to explain that I may have over reacted to leaving my backpack at the counter and advised I would carry my personal belongings in my purse. If you have seen me recently, then you have seen my bright green sack that I carry everything in and affectionately call my purse. This time there were two women who told me flat out that I could not carry it with me to shop at the Salvation Army and again said I would have to leave my bag at the counter or I could choose to shop with my belongings inside a conventional womans purse. I was becoming upset at this point. I told them that the sack was my actual purse (an embarrassing admission given its state of appearance) and I pointed to another shopper and asked why she didnt have to leave her purse at the counter. I then became a bit shouty as I explained to the store patrons that I was not allowed to shop there because I didnt carry my personal belongings in a womans handbag. Then we left the store. I advised the next round of patrons the same before bursting into 15 minutes of tears while we rode to another store so that I could get some badly needed clothing for my daughter. Again, I was not upset that rules are rules, but that after explaining my situation I was not allowed to shop in the store even though I had done so with the same purse previously without any problems. Like so many mothers, I go without so that my child can have things. Maybe not shiny new things, but I dont care about that. My daughter has a wonderful home because we are loving parents and even though we need things, she comes first. When we see people in need, we help them. We dont ask them to explain themselves. Trust me, if you have to explain anything to a stranger for assistance in meeting a basic need, you are not proud of doing so.
Posted on: Fri, 03 Oct 2014 03:01:14 +0000