Pierce the Darkness - The inevitable smear campaign. One of the hardest aspects of dealing with this festival of fun and good cheer is the inevitable smear campaign. Before I mention any thoughts about this let me explain a little about its purpose and why they are engaging in it: It is meant to punish you, control you and isolate you. It is a vicious psychological campaign whose goals are to not only discredit you, assassinate your character and destroy your reputation but also to recruit proxy helpers, collect evidence and set the stage to take the most important aspects of your life away from you. Smear campaigns tend to involve lots of people and happen in secret, possibly for a great deal of time before you start catching wind of them. There are extremely damaging, hurtful and psychological. Often what you think is happening and being said is different than you think and this frequently makes it so you look out of touch, erratic or simply nuts. People typically WANT to resist them, WANT to fight back and WANT to clear their good name. The problem though is this: This pattern of you wanting to fight back is DESIRED AND EXPECTED and almost always backfires against you for a variety of reasons. The things you should be doing and the way to approach them is counter intuitive to what you feel STRONGLY like doing. So, what to do? First off, realize that these campaigns are made up of: 1. Many people who do not matter much in the end. 2. That there is nothing you can say to convince many of them. 3. That you are not privy to what is actually being said or shared. 4. That the person orchestrating this COUNTS on your reactions to make it all work. 5. Many of the stories and distortions can not be DISPROVEN because they are in fact lies and distortions. 6. They are started by an experienced person skilled at waging them and playing psychological games and manipulations. 7. Someone who is highly skilled at NOT reacting emotionally. To fight them most effectively one should: 1. Not participate in them directly. 2. Do not react emotionally to anything or anyone. 3. Look good at all times by remaining calm, composed and collected. 4. Be focused on being a GREAT parent. 5. Not give off the appearance of being affected nor defensive. 6. Be patient and thick skinned. This is not what most people want to hear, nor is it the course of action that most people take. Fighting the smear campaign only draws you into it further and typically results in you looking worse not better. Most of the people caught up in it do not matter in the end...the ones who do count however can be quite pivotal in shaping your outcome so it is important that you be aware of who these are: 1. Anyone connected with the kids education, upbringing or care (including daycare, medical, mental health, etc). 2. Your own immediate family (Mom or Dad testifying against you looks awful.) Aside from these two sets of people most folks will play only a minimal role in determining your fate. Forget about clearing your name and focus instead on being seen as a stable and responsible person at all times. Note that the narcissist is entirely unconcerned with truth but IS HIGHLY CONCERNED about how they appear to others. You should be too. What will help you more than words is your appearance, not what you say or the papers you display.
Posted on: Wed, 30 Jul 2014 21:41:47 +0000
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