Please everyone take a minute to read this and repost it so everyone you know understands it...again recently I have seen some posts from others who have lost their babies and while I understand people want to say or do something for them those comments can be hurtful (not intentionally but the wrong thing can be devastating)....1 dont ever say you know how they feel you lost your mother, father, sister (fill in the blank), while any loss is devastating nothing will ever compare to the loss of a child and and I pray you never ever have to know that pain. 2 dont ever say to some who just lost a pregnancy no matter how far along not worry they can try again- you have no idea what they may have gone through to get pregnant- emotionally, financially, physically...I was 42 when Emma was born and you have no idea how many people said dont worry your young you can try again- really - that made me feel so much better. 3. Dont guess why it may have happened, dont say maybe you should have (fill in the blank)...we already feel a tremendous amount of guilt dont add to it. 4. Dont admire our strength - we arent but we pretend to be to make everyone else feel better- and it is exhausting. Instead let us cry in front of you,give us a place to feel safe to lose it once in a while...be our friend not our cheerleader...5. Dont mail us your childs first birthday invite, 3 year old pictures, - those milestones we will remember and will never come for our babies and it hurts. On the other side dont exclude us that hurts just as much ( we know we are a reminder to what could happen)..instead pick up the phone and tell us about it and give us a choice, let us know that you have no expectations but love us and want us there if we can. 6. This is new but a friend said it recently so I am adding it- dont like or comment on all my posts of my living child(ren) or everything else and ignore my post or photo of my Angel- that is my way of remembering them and keeping them close...I dont get new random shots , school photos every year- all I have is a memory box and her in my heart...share that with me. 7 . Dont tell us to call if we need something just do it - groceries, laundry - it is all overwhelming but we will not ask - we dont have the energy 8.Last be a friend to the new me...somewhere instead are bits and pieces of my old self and if you look closely and be patient you will find it. We just lost our child and losing the people we thought we could count on because we - dont call you back, answer your text , accept your invitation the first 20 times...keep trying..we are there we just need time.
Posted on: Sun, 30 Mar 2014 23:26:20 +0000
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