Please read! Please share! As I get older, I find it harder to believe, to trust, to forgive, to keep my eye on Him. You notice I said eye instead of eyes.(both eyes would be a bit better) I get lost a lot. I get sad a lot. I get tired a lot. Most days I try to be the so called christian that I know I should be but on those (other ) days when I am so low, so tired, at the bottom, at the Very bottom I am so engulfed in pain, loneliness, doubt. This is not by decision, this is who I am. I am a real person. Not a perfect person. I am tired of comparing myself to others. I am tired of judgment from this world. I am tired of judging people of this world. I so want to belong just so I can have that comfort but really, do I want to belong? Thank goodness this is not my eternal home. I want to be a better mother, a better wife, a better daughter. Somedays I wait for that acknowledgment that so called pat on the back. And then I judge myself when it doesnt come. I dont want the pat on the back to be noticed, I want it help me like me more. I have failed so many times. Lord help me get back up. I dont want to fit in. Im not programmed that way. Yes, Im different. Always a challenge. I have lost my way many times. I wish we didnt have to go through hell to get a bit wiser sometimes. I wish we different have to hit rock bottom first before we let Jesus finally take over sometimes! Someone somewhere needs to hear this article like I did.
Posted on: Sun, 29 Jun 2014 19:56:25 +0000
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