****Please read. Very Important to me. I am sitting here at 7:00 typing this.**** As you sit there on your bed after a long and hard day you begin to have thoughts roam your mind. You think about how much you are taunted. How nobody could cares about you. How your family doesnt love you. How you have no friends. All these thoughts soon make you realize that nobody would even care if your existence ceased. You have thought about suicide many times before. Many things contribute to this. You have committed self-harm plenty of times. You always hide it from people. You dont want them to know that it hurts you because it makes you look weak. One of the main reasons that you think about this is because of being bullied in school. *You get taunted in the bathrooms. *Shoved in the hallways. *Punched on the bus. *Jumped in the cafeteria. *Taken advantage of in the classrooms. *Called names everywhere you go. A lot more to add on to this. You arent the only one who knows. Tons of kids know about it but they decide to join in on him or are scared to say something. Another reason is because you feel like your parents dont love you. There are many things that make you think this: *They ignore you and dont listen to your opinion. *They never buy you anything, they always buy your siblings stuff. *Your dad is always giving you mean looks. *You are always getting in trouble, when you have straight As and never do anything wrong. A lot more stuff. Also, You arent very athletic. *You would rather play video games. *You dont like football. *You dont like basketball. *You hate the outdoors. So therefore, you think you arent manly. As so think about all this you consider the thought of attempting suicide. Then you think again... What would my bestfriend say. You only have one friend so you really get teased. Yall promise each other some things and talked about a lot. She is suicidal also but yall committed to something. *Yall told each other yall would hold on and be strong for the sake of each other. You cannot imagine losing her and you cant even imagine how she would feel. As you lay there on your bed another thought comes through your head. You think about how you are holding her back and making her get teased. So you decide that suicide is the best option. You slide to the edge of your bed as you decide that you want to write the suicide note at your desk. You slide on your bedroom shoes and go sit in your spinning chair at your desk. Before you write the note you want to check your social media news feeds. You log onto twitter: You make a post saying : This will be my last post. I am no longer going to have an existence. Some of the responds are: Go ahead. Nobody will miss you The world will be a better place without you anyways. You are heartbroken. You log on Facebook: You post the same thing. The responses are: Go kill yourself You arent wanted Nobody loves you. You are heartbroken again. You log onto Instagram: You post the same thing. Responses are the same as Facebook and Twitter. But this time, people are posting pictures and mocking you. It hurts you like crazy. You decide to get offline because it hurts you so much to see all these responses. After getting paper and pencil, You try thinking of how you are gonna explain this tragedy. Well to you, you think nobody cares. You get on your computer and look up Youtube and search how to write a suicide letter and watch how all the people write them. You had ideas of: I hate to do this, but... I dont know how to say this, but.. I want you all to know I love you but its time that I... You are wrecking your brain trying to write this. So you decide not to write it. When you get up and go back to your bed you think of how you are gonna do this. What are you gonna use? What would be least painful? When do I do it? What are you gonna use? There are many things: *Gun, shoot yourself and get it over with. *Knife, stab yourself repeatedly. *Cut yourself until you hit the right spot and die. When are you gonna do it? Well, when your parents go to bed you decide. It is 10:32pm and you look outside your bedroom door and notice everyone is asleep. You go in your closet and sit on the ground. You shuffle some things around and you finally find it. The gun! You know? The one you have been hiding for months because you knew this day was going to come. You grab it and run to your bed. You lay it down on your bed and decide that you dont want your parents to have to clean your room, so you clean it. *You put up your folded clothes. *You Make your bed. *You vacuum your room. *You dust your shelves. Once you are done you go to your closet once more. When at your closet you shuffle through your clothes. You finally decide that you want your black tux. You return to your bed and lay it down beside the gun. You pick up your gun and sit in the floor. Before you decide to do anything you pull up some of the carpet where you are sitting. The reason for doing this is because you dont want blood to stain your clean carpet. You shoot yourself, right in the chest. Nobody wakes up when the trigger goes off. Luckily your family are all heavy sleepers. Your body lays there on the ground pouring blood. Your body gets colder and colder over night. Your mom and dad dont come in to check on you during the night so they didnt know. It is soon morning time. 7am when they wake up your little sister Sophia for school. Your parents never wake you up because you use your alarm clock and phone alarm as backup. So when they dont hear anything that morning they think you are in the shower. The clocks soon strikes 8. Your mom hollers up, Dave, Your gonna miss the bus. You better hurry. Your mom walks Sophia to the bus and goes ahead and leaves so that she go in to work early so that she can get that promotion she needs to make her kids happy for Christmas. Your dead body lays there while all the kids at school are laughing and cutting up. The school recording calls your mom and tells her you are absent. She sits there at work thinking about how mad she is at you for missing the bus. But she doesnt leave work to take you to check in because she really wants to get that promotion. So she decides to take it up with you after she gets home that evening. She gets home and calls your name multiple times. When she doesnt get a response, she says, Imma come up there if you dont come down. So, she goes up there and opens his door. She wonders where you are at. She walks around the house and looks. She then decides you could have been out on the roof thinking. She goes back in your room and starts to walk around your bed and drops in the floor in tears. She knew something was wrong with you the past few months. She thinks, why didnt he talked to me? Is it my fault? What did i do? Its all my fault. Your dad is not home yet but your mom calls him right away. He was already on his way home. He decides to rush and what happens? He gets in a car crash. Luckily, he wasnt as bad as he thought. He went to the hospital. When the bus pulled up at 5:09, your mom went out in tears to get your sister Sophia. She doesnt know how to explain it to her. She finally gets up the guts to tell her and your little sister was hysterical. But you thought you wouldnt care. So, she was crying for no reason? no, your wrong. Your little sister and mom go to the hospital and saw your dad. Once they left, they went to your bestfriends house and told her. She was like, Why would he do that? He was suppose to hold on. Your mom and sister go home and go to sleep crying. The next day your mom gets a call telling her that your bestfriend killed herself. She wrote in the note that the only reason she ever held on was for Dave. The pressure built up so much that she killed herself. So now, not only is your family in pain but so is hers. Everyone at school ponders about where you are. The school calls over and over and then your mom finally decides to go in and speak to them. She speaks to the class and when she does she decides to speak to kids individually. When she does they inform her that he got bullied and taunted. They told her that probably contributed to it. When your mom was done talking to them individually she talks to the entire class all together. She tells them all what happened and all the students where in tears. Even the ones that bullied you. The girl that didnt like you and turned you down. Even the guy that stole your lunch and lunch money. Everybody. They started apologizing but they soon realized it was too late. Your mom left the school and went home. Your little sister Sophia and your mom went and sat in your room on the bed. They felt so alone. They layed down and fell asleep on your bed because they know that you are still with them in their hearts. See, this had a major affect on many people. So before you do something like this make sure you think of the consequences. And how people are going to feel. It does affect people. It was a tragedy to everyone you had ever came in contact with. If you ever feel the need for self-harm just know that I am here for you. Go and talk to someone. It cant hurt. We are here for you and we love you. ~Delaney Jordan Goodman c: **Please share, and make sure to tell your friends to share.** Finished at 8:50
Posted on: Tue, 26 Nov 2013 01:50:32 +0000
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