Prayer: Playing Catch Teaching my children how to pray has been on my mind lately. I do not want my children to look back on their childhood and be unable to remember a time when we prayed together as a family. I don’t want them to be unable to remember when we prayed more than a prayer of thanksgiving before meals or a simple prayer before bed. I want them to be able to look back at their childhood and realize that we truly prayed as a family—not as a precursor to some other activity but because it was time to pray. First, let me acknowledge that people pray in different ways. I love formalized prayers in addition to spontaneous prayers. Some, however, find the idea of praying a written prayer to be distasteful, foreign, or worse. And that is okay. I find the use of formalized prayer to be a wonderful help to a family prayer time. But it is certainly fine to come before God and pray the words that come to you, or to be silent. It is fine to offer up contrition or thanksgiving or adoration in your own words. It is good to offer your personal petitions to God, to simply bring before God what is weighing on your heart. However it is done, prayer is good if it is from the heart. The good of formalized prayers in community is that they move. Your children not only know the beginning from the end, but they also understand the middle. There is no need for them to wonder when the prayers will come to an end. I think that is important. Furthermore, it makes prayers and Scriptures that have been prayed by God’s people for ages part of their life, memory, and heritage. If you choose to pray with your own words, set a clear time limit so that your kids don’t become anxious about the end of your time together. It is good for children to know that they will pray for a set amount of time. Then do it consistently, nightly. I am going to say the R-word, so brace yourselves: Children find comfort in ritual. It provides structure and meaning. Maybe the idea of starting the endeavor of praying with your children scares you. Maybe it makes you feel as if it is put on or affected. I feel similarly when I begin something new, especially something spiritual. It can be stiff and unfamiliar, like a new baseball glove. Give everyone time to get used to the exercise. Remember, it is probably more awkward for you than your children. Talk a little beforehand about what you will be doing. Explain its importance to them. Then start with ten minutes. After a week, pray for fifteen minutes. One of the wonderful by-products of prayer is that your children will ask questions. If you intersperse readings of the Scriptures or pray the Scriptures, then you might get some questions: “What does it mean when it says . . . ?” Do not see these questions as interruptions, but as opportunities. Maybe it is the first time they have really listened to the Passion narrative even though they have heard it a dozen times. Maybe you won’t even know the answers to their questions. See what you can learn together. Prayer is taught by praying. Praying together is a little like playing catch with your child. It is a tradition that your grown child will look back on and cherish. Sooner or later they will long for that smell of old worn leather. They will miss the familiar feel of it, and the slap of the ball in the pocket. They will even welcome the missed balls that skip uncomfortably near the storm drain. So pray.
Posted on: Wed, 01 Oct 2014 23:50:51 +0000
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