Precious Memory #3 (although its a few hours early), on the road to my 12th year anniversary: Ive made it no secret that in 2009, I suffered from situational depression. Situational depression, in Jakes terminology, is when you allow a myriad of situations to compound, and, if you dont seek a counselor or therapist to help you release or work through those situations, it can eventually manifest through depression. Yes, I, the Rev. Dr. L. Bernard Jakes, the pastor and preacher, suffered from depression. It was not a demonic spirit, and I didnt need to be laid on the altar dunked in oil (LOL). What I needed, however, was a good therapist to help me work through all I had received from the sheep God placed in my care. From January to April 2009, I only preached six times, and whenever I pulled in the parking lot of the church, Id sit in my car and cry. I didnt know what was wrong. I even submitted a resume to a church in Florida, because I felt that maybe it was time for me to leave West Point, rather, I needed a change of scenery. Needless to say, that didnt work out, and Im glad God knows best. Fast-forward to July 2009. I had to travel to New York for business, and when I was headed to the airport to return home, without hesitation or forethought, I told the taxi driver to turn around. I called my wife and told her I wasnt coming home because I was no good for her, our children, or the church. She asked what was wrong, and all I could say was, I dont know whats wrong with me. She begged me to come home, but I kept saying something was wrong with me, and I didnt want to put it on anybody. In her wisdom, she put my daughter on the phone. My daughter said, Daddy, come home because we need you. I told the driver to turn back around and take me to LaGuardia. The Sunday after I returned to Chicago, I pulled in the parking lot, and, once again, I began crying. I finally pulled it together, and I went into the church. When I walked into the worship center, the congregation rose to their feet and began yelling and screaming how much they loved me. I was escorted to the center aisle, and each member gave me a flower, a hug, and said, I love you, Pastor. West Point knows how much I love flowers, and this meant the world to me, because I didnt feel they loved me, and also took me for granted. Little did I know that my officers and members realized something was wrong since January 2009, and they, too, were very concerned about me. On that day, the affirmation of love from my wife and children, as well as my church family, gave me the strength needed to go find a therapist and see what was wrong with me. This was when I learned I suffered from situational depression. Double fast-forward to April 2014. I still see a therapist. Im still loved by both families. And just as important, Im healthy and whole. To aid in my mental wellness, I take a one-week sojourn each quarter, and dont allow anything or anybody to interrupt that much needed time, as well as a one month sabbatical during the last quarter of the year. My officers spearheaded this time away, and the congregational overwhelming approved. I love me some West Point Baptist Church! To my pastoral colleagues (if applicable): Please retain a therapist. Your mental health and wellness depends on it. Love you much. Pastor J
Posted on: Wed, 23 Apr 2014 02:22:30 +0000
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