Probably gonna get judged for this post but oh well. Sometimes I stay up late, doing things that I know are damaging to myself, but I cant help it. Either way Im on a short path of self destruction. The pain isnt too much to handle though, its almost a comfort thing. Its almost as if my brain subconsciously wishes to be hurt and isnt satisfied until thats the case. Ive come to accept it. Ive come to live with it. Ive come to become me. Im always looking to change my path but Im not much of a risk taker, Im not much of a bad person and I know I can change. I think sometimes I just actually enjoy the person I am. I enjoy the sadness. The thing is, I dont ever let it beat me. I just live with it. Ive got a few good friends who are always there for me and it doesnt go unnoticed. I think they understand that its just me though, and I hope they understand that Im not dismissing anything they do for me. It might seem negative to those who dont understand. But its just life. Its just MY life. I can change, I will change, one day. Lifes swinging hard, but Im swinging harder.
Posted on: Thu, 04 Dec 2014 14:36:25 +0000
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