Q: How do you know you are a true stoner? A: When your bong gets washed more than your dishes! Police Officer: How high are you? Pothead: No officer, its Hi, How are you? Q: What do you call a pothead with two spliffs? A: Double jointed. Q: What do you call one bowl between three tokers ? A: Malnutrition. Q: Why is the roach clip called a roach clip? A: Because pot holder was taken Q: Did you hear about the kid that overdosed on weed? A: Niether did I. Q: What do you call a family that grows Marijuana in their backyard? A: A Joint Family. Q: What do you call a stoners wife? A: Mississippi If the whole world smoked a joint at the same time, There would be world peace for at least two hours. Followed by a global food shortage. Q: What is a stoners idea of a balanced diet? A: A joint in each hand! Q: What do you call Harrison Ford when he smokes weed? A: Han So-high Q: What do you call an apple pie getting high in Mcdonalds? A: A baked apple pie. Q: What did the stoners girlfriend say? A: If I cant marry a dude, ill Mary Jane Q: What do you call money that grows on trees? A: Marijuana Q: What do get when you soak a spliff in Vodka? A: The Holy Spirit! Q: What do you call a potato that smokes weed? A: A baked potato. Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign? A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green! Q: What do you call a stoner when horny? A: A weed wacker! Q: What do you call a bunch of mexican stoners? A: Baked Beans. Q: How do you get a one-armed stoner out of a tree? A: Wave. Q: What did the frog say after lighting up? A: Dont Worry be Hoppy? Q: What do you get when you eat marijuana ? A: A pot belly Q: What do you call a stoner spilling his weed on the floor? A: Drug Abuse. Q: How do you know when you have smoked enough pot ? A: When you start looking around for the directions on how to use the lighter. Q: How do you know your a pothead? A: You studied five days for a urine test? Q: What do you call a pothead that doesnt inhale? A: Mr. President. Q: What do you do if you see a space man while getting high? A: Park in it dude Q: Whats the point of a weed wacker? A: Weed wackers need to wack it too! Q: How do fish party ? A: Seaweed. Q: Why did the pot head plant cheerios? A: He thought they were donut seeds. Q: What do you call a person who remembers what they did at woodstock ? A: A Liar. Q: What do you call it when a roach ash burns your shirt? A: A pot hole! Q: What is Reality? A: An illusion caused by a lack of good weed. A stoner called the fire department and said, Come quick my house is on fire! The Fireman asked How do we get there? The stoner says DUH, in a big red truck! Q: How many potheads does it take to change a lightbulb. A: Screw it, we got lighters Q. How long does it take before a pound of weed goes bad? A. I dont know! Ive never had it longer than an hour! Q: How do you hide pot from a hippie? A: Put it in his work boots. Q: What do you called a doped-up Pikachu? A: Tokemon! Q: What is the difference between politicians and stoners ? A: Politicians dont inhale...they just suck. Q. What do you call a stoner that just broke up with his girlfriend? A. Homeless. Q. Whats the difference between a stoner and a tweeker? A. When a pothead is driving down a road he is driving about 20 mph and eating the upholstery. When a tweeker is driving down a road he is driving about 200 mph, and talking to the upholstery. Q. If there are two potheads in the back of a car, then who is driving? A. The cop! Q. Why did the stoner cross the street? A. His dealer lived on the other side. Q: What do a bad football team and a pothead have in common? A: They both get blitzed! Q: What type of pizza does a potheads eat? A: STONEBAKED! Q: How do you hide money from a hippie? A: Put it under the soap. Q: What do a quarterback and a pothead have in common? A: They both get blitzed Q: How many Stoners does it take to change a light bulb A: Who cares man, its to bright in here anyway! Q: What do you call an event when two cities that legalized marijuana get together. A: The Super Bowl Q: What do you get when you eat too much hash brownies? A: A pot belly Q: What is a stoners favorite dream? A: Getting so high he can eat a star. Q: How do sharks get high? A: reefer Q: How did the pothead burn his ear? A: He answered the phone while ironing his clothes Q: What do you call a stoner flying through the hallways in college? A: Enjointment. Q: What do you call the dude that brings shrooms to a party? A: A fungi Q. How do you get an one-armed hippie out of a tree? A: Hold out a joint! I never realized so many Muslims smoked weed. I always hear about them getting stoned..... I was about to smoke weed with a Mexican girl. Until I asked her if she had papers, she immediately ran off. Friend: You could go to jail for weed! Stoner: Jail sells weed? So one day a boy asked a girl can you suck my dick, and the girl replied No I am a vegetarian, I smoke them trees source: jokes4us/dirtyjokes/marijuanajokes.html
Posted on: Wed, 22 Oct 2014 20:11:38 +0000
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