Quick update. I got an e-mail via LinkedIn this morning from a guy I had a fling with 25+ years ago. He said that he was cleaning his car out a few years ago and found some pot that was mine. How he knew that I will never understand. He said that if I’m ever in the area where he works to let him know and he will replace the pot. You can imagine my surprise. Anyway, I found it ridiculously funny. I asked what made him remember and he said it was the note I sent congratulating him on his new job. It was good for a laugh on a day I needed one. I ran into a lady I have seen at Dr. B’s office and even ran into at a store in Roswell. She is having a hard time emotionally and I felt sorry for her. I realized during our conversation that no matter what, I know the things that feed my soul and I do them. It really seems to help me. Dr. B had the nurse remove the drain. It was really painful, but for the first time in 13 days I have no drains and don’t need to wear compression anything. He was so happy about the way my breasts look and how the bruising is going away. I told him that I hope he isn’t the only man that sees them the rest of my life. We both had a laugh. For some reason every part of this surgery is very emotional for me. I cry a lot while I am there. The nurse was so sweet. Long story short, her brother is an addict in jail right now and hopefully going to treatment when he gets out. I was able to share some experience, strength and hope about recovery and what it can do if someone truly wants to stay clean. It made the emotional part a little easier knowing I at least shared some hope for her. I came home and worked, but my heart was heavy. I will be able to write about the reason in a few days. In the meantime, I am very sad for myself, but happy for another person. This evening I made a picture that expressed everything I was feeling today. I think it came out pretty nice. On the back of the page (I have an art journal), I wrote an explanation of the picture. Even the way I wrote it was a bit creative. I think I am frustrated feeling lousy for so long. My foot is hurt so bad, the lypo still hurts and my vision isn’t great. I know all of this will get better, but I could use a break from it all. It feels never ending. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but I can’t remember the last time I had a completely pain free day. The day of atonement in Judaism is this Saturday. There is a part of me that is a bit nervous about it. I’ve been so busy trying to beat cancer, keep my job and a few other things, that I don’t know if I have truly cleaned up my side of the street the way it needs to be. I hope Gd will understand and know that it wasn’t intentional. He’s Gd, of course he will know…he already does. I’m really tired and am going to sleep now. Tomorrow will be better, I know it will. Just going to sleep with no drains tonight ends the day on a really positive note. Hugs!!!
Posted on: Thu, 02 Oct 2014 01:27:15 +0000
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