REASONS TO BUY MY BOOK #4 - #lol4advent The season of waiting is over. The season of waiting for the next season of waiting has begun. Here is a collation of all of this years #lol4advent jokes over on twitter/harrybakerpoet - complete with some notes from the editor. 1) Why was Rudolph crying? He saw Santa eating a Donner kebab. *** Anything that is Christmas themed I feel gets more allowance in terms of quality *** 2) I met a hipster biscuit. It was a little kooky. 3) I cant stop listening to Let it Go this morning! I think the disc is Frozen. 4) My grandmas stopped writing since she got an iPad. Shes become a pen-shunner. 5) Bought a wooly coat in a charity shop in London. My friend asked Is that Yak bruv? I said Nah, Ox fam... *** The above joke was the most popular judging by favourites and retweets. It is also one of 3 that actually made it into the final edit of the book. Here is also where the jokes I had prepared out of fear in the preceding weeks ran out and I had to actually think of one every day whilst publishing a book and touring Germany, hence the SLIGHT drop in quality *** 6) Have you seen any Irish musicals? Yeah, Once. 7) I’ve started up a crash mat business. Just incase I need something to fall back on. 8) How do musicians get around the garden on time? They take a Metrognome. 9) Got to the hot potato world cup final but there was too much pressure. I couldn’t handle it. 10) Since upgrading my computer’s had to switch from RGB to CMYK. It’s magentafication. *** hoped this would get more love than it did. The only thing I can think of is that the socially-aware graphic designer community are too cool to favourite or retweet things even though they loved it. *** 11) Why did the baker go Christmas shopping in Paris? He needed to buy his Boo lingerie. 12) Ran out of clean pants. Stole some from Japanese store. Was a unique low. *** This is legit a haiku. Again, more of an excuse to not be funny *** 13) Why did the deer enthusiast go to insect Las Vegas? He wanted to see an ant elope. *** This is where I begun to suffer genuine abuse, and h8rz told me to stick to poetry. Fear not, gentle reader, I ploughed through... *** 14) In Australia everything is back-to-front. Instead of fish fingers they eat Dory toes. 15) I met a girl online, but when we met for the first time it turned out she had whiskers and gills, I realised I’d been catfished. 16) To save time in the morning my friend mixes his cuppa with his porridge and downs it in one. I said that was a little oaty tea. 17) I told a really funny joke on jury service but I guess you had to be there... 18) I thought it was a mistake booking Ultramagnetic MCs to play at a metal festival, but the crowd were really drawn to them. 19) Just read the wise men’s autobiography about their life on the road: We Three Kings - A Foray In Tar... *** Awful. I know. Just think, the worse these are, the less time was put into them meaning more time was spent putting finishing touches on my book and getting them out in time for Christmas. So yes its a good thing! *** 20) t.co/10Y8ZAgTaY 21) Serena Williams couldnt work out what happened to her Ivysaur at level 32. Fortunately, Venus saw. *** guest feature from @lolbasaur and the #jokémon movement *** 22) The three kings did a poll of influential DJs on the UK hip-hop scene. at the moment Westwood leading. (Still Proceeding) *** This. This is where the books had sold out and I could go back to being awesome at jokes again. *** 23) Why is Justin Timberlake so good at racquet sports? He has a Tennessee background. 24) Why were things complicated between the two milliners? It was a love hat relationship. 25) They asked me to come up with an abbreviation for the Coca Cola Lite Rally. Literally. *** may or may not be a slight opportunity to get one of my side projects @literallyadick (name subject to change) some followers.. *** And there we have it. Happy Christmas. I have a book. Not sure if I mentioned it - harrybaker.co - if you liked the jokes there are better ones that actually had some thought put into them in it. If you didnt like them honestly the ones in the book are MUCH better. Plus theres poems. Im better at poems. This is just for fun. Its all just a bit of fun guys. Check the video in the link if you havent already for ultimate fun.
Posted on: Wed, 24 Dec 2014 09:41:19 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015