REMEMBERING JAMES STEPHEN HIGHTOWER (May 15, 1978 - December 1, 2013) On this day, my beloved sons 36th birthday, thoughts turn back to his early childhood years and the many miles our family traveled together between military duty stations, relatives and friends. Stephen, along with his older brother Jared and younger sister Gina, would often entertain himself with singing and laughter as we rolled along in our little 1979 Datsun station wagon. Shortly after Stephen’s first birthday, I remember trading my Ford pickup truck for the new Datsun to accommodate our growing family. Despite its size, with a bit of creative packing and loading, it was entirely capable of accommodating luggage for our family of five, the kids’ toys, games and a bulky portable crib. But none of our brand new Datsun’s capabilities brought greater joy than the 8 track stereo system, the latest audio technology of the day. While our tape collection was well stocked with a variety of music choices and artists for the family, Stephen’s favorite was one single tune recorded by B.J. Thomas, “Using Things and Loving People”. I remember well how Stephen and his brother never tired of singing along with BJ from their perch in the back seat. They knew the words well and always sang them with the greatest of enthusiasm: “Using things and loving people, that‘s the way it’s got to be. Using things and loving people, look around and you will see, that loving things and using people only leads to misery….” Now as we continually seek to overcome the overwhelming grief of his loss, it is apparent that the song Stephen and his brother sang with such heart would become a metaphor for his life, his ministry and his legacy. Indeed, those closest to Stephen would tell you he cared very little for things, but he loved people with a consuming passion. And while taking a vow of poverty was never a part of Stephen’s theology or his spiritual formation, his sacrificial standard of living and frugal traits often carried that appearance. One example of his love for people is prominent in my thoughts today. Stephen and I shared a special bond, in that he represented 3 generations of ministry on my side of the family, preceded by my father Ruben Hightower and myself. Following my father’s death in 1986, my mother gave me the Bible from which he preached for many years. When Stephen’s call to ministry became apparent in his high school years, I decided to mark his beginnings by passing on my Dad’s Bible to him. I was really annoyed with Stephen when years later, I learned that he gave the Bible away to someone he thought “needed it more.” I had to calm down a bit, when I remembered that I gave it to him with no strings attached. I am convinced that he did this, not from a lack of appreciation for my gesture or for the family heritage it represented. He simply saw a deeper need. True to the words of the tune he and his brother sang as children, Stephen was determined that “using things, and loving people, that’s the way it has to be.” The Bible just happened to be the means of doing so. I am pretty certain that had I pursued the matter further with him, Stephen would vehemently argue that his grandfather would be pleased because giving the Bible away was literally sharing Jesus with someone. The same Jesus who had saved and redeemed his father, and his father’s father and now himself. In Stephen’s logic, what greater purpose could there be? So on this special day, when we miss our Stephen more than words can express, I am comforted by the thought that at their first meeting in heaven, Stephen and his grandfather probably enjoyed a good laugh over that old Bible (albeit at my expense). What I know to be true is the enduring legacy of a wonderful and talented son we loved and lost, a multitude of great memories he left us, and the reality that the world today would be a better place if using things to love people were more of a practice. You have the opportunity, you have the ability, you have the responsibility, and the privilege of changing the world. You also have the choice to leave it the same or do the changing. I want to be a world changer! - J. Stephen Hightower (Listen to the song, Using Things and Loving People: m.youtube/watch?v=8cEZjSp0ZSQ) Shared by: Jim Hightower, Stephens Dad
Posted on: Thu, 15 May 2014 04:59:29 +0000
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