RULES THAT WOMEN SHOULD FOLLOW 1. If you think you might be fat, you are. Dont ask us. Just get your arse in a gym. 2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if its up, put the bloody thing down. 3. Dont cut your hair. Ever. It causes arguments when we comment on it. 4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present.......again! 5. If you ask a question you dont want an answer to, expect an answer you dont want to hear. 6. Sometimes, were not thinking about you. Live with it. 7. Anyone can buy condoms. 8. Get rid of your cat. And no, its not different, its just like every other cat. 9.Dogs are better than ANY cats. 10.Sunday = Football/Rugby/Any other sport. Let it be. 11. Shopping is not a sport. 12. Anything you wear is fine. Really. 13. You have enough clothes. 14. You have too many shoes. 15. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but dont expect us to respond to it. 16.Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot and your Dad probably is too. 17. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints dont work. 19. Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. Were bound to miss sometimes. 20. Most blokes own two to three pairs of shoes, so what makes you think wed be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress? 21.Yes, No and Mmm are perfectly acceptable answers. 22. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 23.Your Mum doesnt have to be our best friend. 24.Foreign films are best left to foreigners. 25.Check your oil. It is an essential part of the car. 26. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. 27.Dont fake orgasms. Wed rather be ineffective than deceived. 28.Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days. 29. Telling us that the models in the mens magazines are airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty and its certainly not going to deter us from reading them. 30.The male models with the great bodies you see in magazines are all gay. 31.If something we said could be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one. 32. Let us ogle. If we dont look at other women, how can we rate how pretty you are? 33. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during the commercials. 35.Women wearing Wonderbras, low-cut blouses, tight tops, no jackets, chest level logod t- shirts etc. etc...., lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at. 36.When we are in bed and look tired this means that we are tired and does not mean that we want to discuss the relationship. 37. If you want some dessert after a meal - have some. You dont have to finish it. You can just taste it if you like but dont say No, I couldnt/shouldnt/dont want any and then eat half of mine. 38. Dieting doesnt work without exercise. 39.If youre on a diet it doesnt mean my meals should be rabbit-food as well. A mans four essential food groups are: white meat, red meat, cold beer and cold beer. Please ensure all meals contain a good balance of the above in good quantities - everything else falls under the category garnish.
Posted on: Tue, 18 Mar 2014 19:57:19 +0000
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