RUMORS ARE RAMPANT IN WASHINGTON, AFTER AN UNAUTHORIZED WHITE HOUSE LEAK CONFIRMED THAT PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA HAS BEEN WORKING WITH REPRESENTATIVES FROM A PREVIOUSLY UNKNOWN ALIEN SOCIETY FROM A DISTANT PLANET IN THE ANDROMEDA GALAXY SINCE THE EARLY DAYS OF HIS FIRST TERM IN OFFICE. THIS SOURCE SAID THAT TOP SCIENTIST FROM WHAT WE SHALL CALL PLANET X ADVISED THE PRESIDENT THAT THE EARTH WAS ON THE VERGE OF DESTRUCTION BECAUSE OF THE UNREGULATED BURNING OF FOSSIL FUELS. TOP EPA OFFICIALS WORKING WITH THE ALIENS HAVE WORKED OUT A SOLUTION THAT WOULD NOT ONLY STOP, BUT REVERSE THE EFFECTS OF GLOBAL WARNING. THE PLAN CALLS FOR THE IMMEDIATE EXTERMINATION OF 99% OF THE WORLDS POPULATION AND THE RELOCATION OF THE REMAINING 1% TO ALIEN CONTROLLED RESERVATIONS WHERE THE ALIENS WILL MAKE SURE ALL OF THEIR NEEDS WILL BE PROVIDED FOR, MUCH LIKE THE NATIVE AMERICANS IN THE 19TH CENTURY. CRADLE TO GRAVE CARE WILL BE PROVIDED BY THE GREAT GREEN ALIEN FATHER WHO WILL BE ASSISTED BY A SELECT GROUP OF NATIVE EARTHLINGS. AS OF THIS TIME, THE PRESIDENT HAS NOT DENIED OR CONFIRMED THESE RUMORS. HOWEVER, WHEN WHITE HOUSE SPOKESMAN, JAY CARNEY WAS ASKED ABOUT THIS HE SAID THE GOAL OF THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY HAD ALWAYS BEEN CRADLE TO GRAVE CARE FOR ALL AMERICANS REGARDLESS OF RACE, COLOR, CREED OR NATIONAL ORIGIN.
Posted on: Sun, 27 Jul 2014 12:11:55 +0000