Really dont mind if you sit this one out. So Ive been suffering from depression and anxiety for a while now (probably since about November). This has happened in the past, and its largely situational/life-based. I last saw my therapist about 3 years ago, at which time I was starting in my new group here at work and life was going pretty well. Roman Mitz was my new boss and Elizabeth Hohenstein-Knight and I had figured out our relationship dynamics at last. Well, last saw until a few weeks ago, when I saw him again and said I think I need a tuneup. Life changes cause stress, even if theyre good ones. Im now my new teams lead and help out with the management, often being Rs backup when hes out. Liz and I are no longer a couple who date a few times a week and live about 10 minutes apart; were married and living together. Oh, and not in the house I lived in for 9 years before; instead, in a much spiffier one in a much better location but for twice the mortgage payment. Last summer I got on a plane for the first time since the 1990s. Think about what changed in aviation since then. I discovered on my return flight that Ive developed a fairly large anxiety about flying. Flying to Texas to visit my in-laws last Thanksgiving was not a fun experience for me, nor for my wife who had to put up with me. Everyone hated the winter of 2013-2014, but it hit me particularly hard. Living on a steep narrow hill in that much ice and snow was not good for my sanity. (Thats part of why Liz and I moved a few months ago, although living in Squirrel Hill was a dream of mine since adolescence, so it was going to happen eventually if I had my way. It just happened a lot sooner than we had been planning because another winter like that in Stanton Heights might have ended me.) My car experienced some problems earlier this week and Ive been renting a car for a few days because no one in the area had the part it needed. That caused me to freak out a bit. When my car breaks down, I suddenly think Im once again a 19 year old whos home for the summer and has no life and can go nowhere he wants to go -- even when I can rationally look at my bank account and _chuckle_ at the rental fees and the repair cost. I made some tough choices in the last few years to eliminate a lot of social toxins from my life, and that has been a good process (though not complete). My life is, by basically any objective standard you like, the best its ever been. But Ive been having a hard time coping. So yes, Im back in therapy. While thats essentially a private matter, I am a strong believer in therapy as something people should _do_ for themselves if they can possibly afford it. (SINGLE PAYER CARE NOW.) So I post this for two reasons: one, to say If Ive seemed a little crazy in the last year, its because Im a little crazy, so I apologize, and two, to say If youre considering therapy to deal with problems in _your_ life, and can manage to get it, do _not_ be ashamed or think it makes you less of a person. It makes you _more_ of a person, because it can make you healthier and more personally powerful.
Posted on: Fri, 08 Aug 2014 15:13:51 +0000
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