Remedies for Healing Abandonment Schema ● therapy relationship is a source of healing and transfer this learning to significant others ● accept the therapist’s departures and unavailability without over-reacting ● find someone to replace the therapist as the primary relationship i.e., someone else who is also stable ● alter exaggerated view that other people will eventually leave, die or behave unpredictably ● learn to stop catastrophising about temporary separation from others ● use cognitive strategies focus on altering the unrealistic expectation that others should be endlessly available and totally consistent ● learn to accept that other people have the right to set limits and establish separate space ● reduce obsessive focus on making sure the partner is still there ● change the view that you must do what other people want you to do or else you are going to be left behind, that you’re incompetent, or that you need other people to take care of you ● focus on choosing partners who are capable of making a commitment ● stop pushing partners away with behaviours that are too jealous, clinging, angry or controlling ● gradually learn to tolerate being alone and walk away from unstable relationships quickly, and become more comfortable in stable relationships.
Posted on: Fri, 27 Jun 2014 19:48:51 +0000
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