Rest in peace Robin In my life before Parkinson’s, I enjoyed backpacking. As a teenager and a young man I hiked in the Sierras and other California mountain ranges. The weight of a 25 pound pack seemed light in contrast to the beauty of the mountains, the fresh air, and the fellowship of family and friends. It was an annual catharsis from my hectic life the rest of the year. Trekking up the steep mountain trails with weight my back was relatively easy and came with the knowledge that the top of the mountain, the mountain pass, or the end of the trail were relatively near. When I arrived I would remove the pack, and feel unburdened. I would breathe deeply as the wind evaporated sweat from my shirt and hair making feeling very alive. Food and water tasted supercharged and sleep came easily and deeply despite the cold hard ground. Living with a chronic and progressive condition like Parkinson’s disease, is similar to hiking with a backpack. Sometimes the trail feels steeper than other times, and the pack heavier. Unfortunately, the respite achieved when removing my pack never comes. The burden is always there. The trail may get steeper, it may even go downhill for a while, but it never ends. Not even at night. Nonetheless most of the time it’s still possible to see beauty and sunlight despite the trails incline and the weight of the pack. One might think it equitable, that if you had one chronic and incurable condition, you would get a pass on the other maladies. Why should someone with chronic depression, a chronic neurological condition, or traumatic brain injury be expected to cope with heart disease, breast cancer, severe back pain or diabetes, for example? Cards of fortune or misfortune continue to be dealt without regard to the weight of the pack already carried. So, how could someone so gifted and loved by the world take his own life? I remember the day that I was told that I had Parkinson’s disease. I wanted a second and third opinion and still didn’t want to believe it. I wondered what had caused it and how I would cope - how it would change the life that I had been planned. I don’t know Robin’s personal story but I can understand how a diagnosis of Parkinson’s that came as another unwelcome visitor on his back at a time when the trail already felt overwhelmingly steep and the pack too heavy may have seemed unbearable. Acknowledging the burden of this progressive and incurable disease may have eclipsed the light so that coping with his life felt impossible. I was awed by Robin’s talent. Obviously his humor was hysterical but his ability to be so good at so many types of characters was equally impressive. How ironic that in the movie, Awakenings, he portrayed Oliver Sacks, the British neurologist who discovered the beneficial effects L-dopa which has remained the gold standard drug for controlling Parkinson’s symptoms. One wonders how Robin’s view of Parkinson’s was impacted by the near catatonic patients with Parkinson’s in that film. It is sobering and painful to think of the great loss that his family, friends, fans and the world have suffered with his passing. I hope that those of us living with chronic disease can learn coping mechanisms that will get us through when the light seems to dim and remember that there is help available and things may look different around the next turn in the trail. Rest in peace Robin, you made me laugh, you made me cry, you made me think.
Posted on: Sun, 17 Aug 2014 23:16:18 +0000
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015