Reuters, London: Labour Unveil Radical New Energy Strategy Labour will today unveil a new energy strategy that analysts predict will revolutionise the sector and put Scotland at the forefront in new renewable technology. A spokesman for Jim Murphy told reporters: Its quite simple. We plan to hook up a dynamo to Kier Hardie and harness the energy from his spinning corpse. We first got the idea after the invasion of Iraq when seismologists in Cambridge noticed anomalies in the data collected close to where the Labour founder is buried. Satellite imagery confirmed there to be an unusual heat signature coming from the grave site. He added - We noticed that each time we implemented a policy away from core Labour values, that the energy levels rose. Labour party leaders are said to be excited with this new development and see it as a real game changer in the run Mays general election. Labours deputy leader in Scotland, Kezia Dugdale said ...the energy generated by last nights vote in support of Tory austerity cuts meant we could power the great Strathclyde area. She went on to say We estimate that by the time renew Trident, the energy being generated by Kier Hardie spinning in his grave will mean the UK overtakes Germany as the main generator of Green energy within the EU
Posted on: Wed, 14 Jan 2015 08:48:28 +0000
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