Rev Papa Smurf Posts: 5,155 Joined: Jul 2009 Location: Thanks: 2117 Given 1319 thank(s) in 791 post(s) Points: §65,417.66 You Know Youre a True Mexican When.... You know youre are Mexican if: You have ever been hit by a chancla. You can play any sport wearing your chanclas. You grew up scared by something called El Cucuy. Others tell you to stop screaming when you are really just talking. You light a candle on the night of the Lotto drawing. You use your lips to point something out. You constantly refer to cereal as con fleis. Your mother yells at the top of her lungs to call you to dinner even if its a one bedroom apartment. You can dance ranchera, cumbia or salsa without music. You use manteca (lard) instead of olive oil and cant figure out why your butt is getting bigger. You call your sneakers tenees. You have at least thirty cousins. You cant imagine anyone not liking spicy food. You are in a 5-passenger car with 7 people in it and a person shouting subanse, todavia caben. Whenever you feel under the weather, you compulsively dab on some Vics vapor rub all over your chest and inside your nostrils. Your mom packs your lonchera everyday. You or someone you know uses Tres Flores in their hair. Tamales, champurrado, posole and menudo are must haves on Thanksgiving. There is more Tequila than punch at little Juanitos birthday party. There is at least one member in your family named Maria, Guadalupe, Juan, Jose, or Jesus. Everyone still thinks Cesar Chavez is the best boxer even if he lost against Oscar De La Hoya. Youve gone to Las Pulgas every weekend for years. You step into a house that has all those little figurines taking up every inch of space on/under the TV. You have a porcelain cat, dog, Buddha, or elephant in your living room. You have plastic slipcovers on your sofas. You swear Choco Mil is the same as Slim Fast and try to lose weight by drinking it. You have a drunk uncle/aunt. Youre still afraid to open that umbrella in your house. You not only know who Don Francisco from Sabado Gigante is, but you tell people hes your tio. Your mother, tia or hermanas hair is blackcherry, Sun in red or a burgundy that would make Celia Cruz jealous. You always try to find out what town another fellow Latinos family is from. You have ever had to beepiar a friend on their pager. You wear your Sunday best to do laundry at the laundrymat and go grocery shopping. You have told your kid not to walk the floor barefoot or theyll catch a cold. You go to a wedding or Quinceañera, gossip about how bad the comida is, but be the first to take a plato to go. You have a bottle of Tapatio in your purse. Your cousins are delinquents / hootchies. You have a chola in your barrio named La Flaca whos bigger than a house. You think Cristina trumps Oprah any day. You have a cousin named Guero whos darker than night. You know a chola named La Shy Girl who is loud and obnoxious. You need to point out how much something you just bought cost. You go to a white friends house for dinner and dont understand the concept of sitting at a table. Youve tried to bring a mango back to the US from Mexico, and a bonus point if you actually made it all the way home with it. You have a bottle of Bacardi or Tequila in your house right now. You drive a Cheby, an Ohsmobeel or a Bolswahgon Youre late Tio left you a van and you turned it into a taco vending business. You pronounce words beginning with the letter S by putting an E in front of it, (estop instead of stop). You call a chair, a sher. You have ever hurt yourself and your mamacita rubbed the area while chanting, Sana, Sana, Colita de rana..... You have your last name in old English lettering anywhere on your car, truck, or tattooed on your back! You refer to your wife as your ruca, your hina, your wifa, your old lady, or your vieja, guess what? Not only are you a Mexican, youre a cholo. You throw a Grito every time you hear Vicente Fernandez, then not only are you a Mexican, but you are a drunk Mexican. You have ever been pinched in church and been told pobrecito de ti si lloras or Vas a ver orita que salgamos. You grew up being called chamaca or chamaco Si te persinas with a lotto ticket in your hand before every drawing. You use manteca instead of vegetable oil and cant figure out why your rear-end is getting bigger You have some Tias that dress up in their prom dresses to go to a birthday party at el parque. Your Tias and Abuela dress up in their Sunday best with heels and all to go to the pulga. (AKA the Flea Market) If most of the houses on your block are painted bright pink, mint green, and lavender. You use the bushes in front of your house, the fence, or the top of an old car to dry laundry. Youre congested and your mamasita rubbed Bicks.
Posted on: Tue, 29 Oct 2013 05:42:31 +0000
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