Rude or open communication? During periods of growth, others will ask how you have been. Naturally you want to share some of the highlights that accompany your growth and maturation. First of all, this is a sharing moment, not an invitation for another to come in with their opinion and tell you how to do it better, or right. But because we are understanding, when the other person does begin to volunteer their fix it plan for us and ask questions we answer them to point out that, yes, we had considered their unsolicited input; After all, growth is also being open to listen to others ideas and fielding the unforeseeable question or two. How about the person who keeps asking the same question but in a different manner? Are we rude or is it self-care through open communication to say, Look I already answered that question, when I said... Now in this example the person continues to persist that you are missing the point. Now you can feel your frustration with the conversation rising, and finally you tell them. O.k. enough! This topic of conversation is starting to get me frustrated and I would like to get off of this topic. The other person becomes mad and suddenly wants to end all communication. Self-care or Rudeness? Well, from the other parties point of view, they can perceive this sudden denial of information or question answering as a rude and uncalled for action; However, we are the one being frustrated, we are the one that is getting upset, and we are the one who is changing and taking charge of our frustration by recognizing the trigger signs and how we feel. Finally, we are the one who must now taking action to move beyond that which is making our frustration grow. Self-care includes knowing that you have reached a limit and rather than explode and tell someone off, you simply, in a calm and even manner, let them know you are now done with this part of the conversation. Self-care is letting them know you are becoming frustrated and no longer wish to partake in this topic and it is time to move beyond it. Self-care is recognizing your trigger signs and taking steps to get out of your old patterns and form new ones to help yourself avoid the anger that accompanies frustration. Self-care is you and I taking care of our own needs, recognizing that we are not responsible for the needs of another in that moment. Although the person chooses to become mad or upset, that is their right, but we are not the one who created their anger or upset state...they did that all on their own. Self-care is being responsible for you...no one else in that moment, just you. You are not responsible of the reaction of the other party, but you are responsible for your own level of tolerance, frustration, sadness, anger, or temper and it is you that must recognize your feelings and make a decision to care for your own mental state in any given moment. Self-care is called Self-care for a reason, because it is about SELF! Take care of yourself today.
Posted on: Wed, 05 Mar 2014 14:42:51 +0000
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