SAD PEOPLE A few months back I was really sad for a long time, a really long time. I mean, it was a sadness I didnt think existed and there seemed to be no one that could understand. I couldnt believe the amount and level of sadness I was inside of and I say inside because I really felt trapped. I never thought of committing suicide, but what seemed so clear was that death was a better option than life because I was sick of the thoughts, the losses, the hurt, the pain, the visions, the dreams, the sounds, the memories, the noise, the lies, the liars, the guilt, the EVERYTHING and they would not end. I didnt want to tell anyone because I was either embarrassed, I didnt want to burden others, or didnt trust people anymore after all that had transpired. I was shocked at how broken I was or how unbelievably sad and overwhelmed I was. Where do you go when you either dont trust nobody, dont want to bother anybody, or you dont have the words to say in a prayer? I still dont know. I do know that eventually the days got brighter and when the smoke cleared, the work was still there and there were lives that were linked to mine, and dammit, I didnt ask for it, but it is what it is. Once again, it was the work that saved me because where would people be without me and where would I be without people. We all need each other. The load was heavy, mad heavy and I was carrying it but what I found was stupid obvious, if you carry heavy stuff long enough, you get stronger. Heres the deal, people, if I believed everything people said about me, I dont think Id be of any use anymore. Clearly, our lives are worth attacking, look at how much we cost! So, sad people, TRUST and BELIEVE, you will get better and God sees it all and he is healing your heart even when you dont know how to ask him to. He is not like people and that is hard to grasp because we are faced with human inadequacy on a daily basis, we cant fathom faithfulness, unconditional love, and change even if it punched us in the lower back. We all matter. There is your part and theirs. Take responsibility for what you did or allowed to get you here. Own it enough to then throw it away. Then, to HEAVEN with those who will not support you, to those who think ill of you, to those who plot against you, to those who have hurt you, spoiled your name, to those who judge you, who wont forgive you, to the jealous, to those who have tried to stop you, who told you no, who secretly hate you, who wont give back what you put out, who wont give you the time of day, who moved on without you, who look at you and see shame. They do not reflect how God sees you. Even if you dont believe in God, they do not reflect how you should view yourself. Dont believe everything you hear less you become a liar as well. Know that you are worth it and if people cant see it, their loss. People dont say or hear it enough, especially MEN, you are loved, needed, wanted, and though the odds are stacked against you, they dont compare to the odds stacked in your favor. HOLD ON, people and never let go until God decides he wants to see you face to face. The world is filled with people who are deciding to stick it out. Be in that number. Think more about God and not people.
Posted on: Tue, 12 Aug 2014 19:51:39 +0000
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