SESSION WITH A CRASH VICTIM FILE CASE- Wreck Victim-Nov. 6, 2013 Hour Session Begins 3/2014 THERAPIST-MYSELF It happened in November right? Yes You feel you should be over this right? Yes Are you? No Do you dwell on this incident? No So why see me? I don’t know why. But since you are me, I thought maybe you could help. I mean, I don’t Think about this all the time. Sometime out of the blue flashbacks just happen. I have to go on that road every day. The sound the tires makes on that section of road. Flashbacks of the wreck you mean? Well.. It starts out that way. It’s not the actual wreck itself, I can’t really explain… Well, why don’t you just use very short words to relive what is being said in your head Share them with me ok? Begin…. (Hesitation) We were in a car They were in a truck..a red truck I have been told We were on a road They were on an avenue We were in the right They were in the wrong I am bending down no seat belt I am a passenger It is a Mustang Small, couldn’t find the seat belt First time in my life no seat belt Emergency, don’t worry about having seat belt on (hesitation) Continue… Riding along Looking down, bending over Driver finds seat belt and tells me to put it on But I’m bending over, wait Seconds go by…seconds I slouch down, getting comfortable Going to put on the seat belt (Hesitation) Continue… I look up and see it It?... A train on Railroad tracks We are going to hit a train? Train? No it’s a wave A huge wave.. I am going to (Hesitation) I am about to die… Every part of me knew.. Just knew.. Sad, terrified, terrified, we are going to hit this! “This is it!” Onion layered thoughts Clicking of a gun at my head “This is it!” Get it over, like hold your breath Seconds, no turning back “Mercy, God mercy!” Close my eyes await my fate So sad, no last goodbyes Voice in my head… Who, what is this?????? Fog, grey fog in my head.. time is standing still.. I know that voice, that entity, that presence.. God, an Angel? Is an Angel just a slice of God like a pizza? “You surrender?” Say what? Get me out of here…Oh God just get me out of here (in my head) “Hell yes!” Oh no I just cussed, I’m doomed Why isn’t my life flashing before my eyes? Why does this Angel/ God seem so unholy? So down to Earth… No fancy robes? I feel it watching me..it’s security , it’s warmth, it’s love I feel like behind him is a hall with doors Heaven? Where is the bright lights? The impact. It’s going to be bad!!!!!!!!!!!! My eyes are shut ..I felt the impact… (Hesitation) It is shattering..Oh God it was harder than I imagined but… Yes? I no longer cared… I was a little girl holding a red balloon at a fair Am I dead? I feel it is not over.. the car Yes? The car bounced off ,and we are skidding across three lanes Yes? Of heavy traffic, and I’m thinking Almost funny.. I am going to die like an Oreo cookie! Oh well! I’m going to be the cream filled center! Between cars colliding in the front and back How amusing? Continue… What is that looks like cellophane tape? Am I wrapping presents, is it the paper they use to do Easter baskets? Tape, I’m wrapping presents with a huge thing of cellophane tape The presence is with me..watching, maybe changing images in my head? I feel warm, secure in this grey scary dungeon Silence…..We jumped a curb or hit something Silence ..we are stopped, am I dead? Why doesn’t it tell me something? And then?... Where is Shelia, the driver? My son’s fiancé…Silence Don’t leave me..God don’t leave me!…. I hear Shelia drag herself out of the car onto the grass She is screaming, crying… I start to hurt…Oh I hurt…..I close my eyes Block it out, take it AWAY! It watches… At least I am not alone! I start puffing through my mouth I want to lip my lips…I don’t want to scream, It will make it worse The airbag had deployed and reminded me one of those Advertisement things that inflate It is losing air..swaying like a Casper ghost Then glitter…A beam of light hits the glitter flying in the air (hesitation) Then a noise.. Bacon. Sizzling noise like frying bacon Am I cooking? My foot hurts, burning It is wedged under the airbag I am in a lying position now hurting No place in my head to go, to hide from the pain! Help me ..Someone help!! A voice is talking to Shelia, she is sobbing She begs him to go on my side; my side got the direct hit She fears I am dead, AM I? A man approaches, I feel his hesitation Yes? I have glass in my mouth. Some of my teeth are chipped One tooth is about to come out..I struggle to talk He has already notified the authorities, family..Just wait…that bacon noise! Hold my hand…I don’t want to die alone! He is on his hand and knees…I can feel the presence waiting Like it is ready to take me if I just reach out and take his hand to walk down that hall I resist, I must tell my family bye first, and then I will take that hand Our secession is over for today; make an appointment to return in 2 weeks I don’t make that appointment A bench sits outside of the building. Brilliant blue skies with lazy daisy skies .Children are playing in a nearby park. I close my eyes to absorb their laughter, but I hear the click of that gun in my head. I had BEEN prepared to die, but chose to live. Something had changed….I had fractured my back that day, that somehow the hospital didnt find , and have lasting results from internal bleeding among other traumas from the wreck. Definite seat belt wounds…the bruising.. Huge welts were everywhere.Knots...Huge knots. A concussion...Vertigo... Wounds from a seat belt I didn’t have on that something made sure I did. I was injured by alive! I will require surgery down the line, but I AM alive. Shelia is sure I put it on. I know I didn’t.She is in denial...She gets nervous taking about it. I remember when the police officer at the scene asked if I had a seat beat on. I was thinking, I better reply yes, maybe I could still get a ticket. I never removed the seat belt nor anyone at the scene. But I wonder why? Part of me wishes I had taken that hand…. I didn’t get to continue to talk about what happened after the witness left. I was desperate! Flowers swaying in the breeze.. So pretty! Then they came, and cut me out of the car! After the witness had to inform them I was alive in there. I felt it go…that door had closed…I had a glimpse of what Heaven was, the feeling of total love. But it was not yet my time….but that is for another secession…But for now the sun, the laughter will bring me up. Preparing to die, and given life…Do you ever come to terms. I just pray, and I mean pray, to the man above that I do. I feel he is there, by my side, somewhat…Watching and waiting….and such Love! By Mary L. Palermo Crash victim not yet edited Copyright March 2014
Posted on: Fri, 21 Mar 2014 16:30:38 +0000
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