SIGH! Dear Zane, Im having a relationship issue: Ive been involved with this guy for a few months. Before we made it official, I was aware that he doesnt have a job and hasnt been employed since 2011. Heres the issue: hes not trying to find a job. He says that he doesnt want to be a slave for the next 20 years, kill himself on someone elses job making them rich, and $7/hr wont help the situations that hes going through. Numerous ppl have tried to extend their hand to help, including myself. Ive offered to go to the computer lab to help him complete applications. He always uses his family and his diabetic condition as an excuse. Hes letting his pride get the best of him, which is causing him to miss out on job opportunities. Then, he keeps using his not so great job history as an excuse. Ive asked him, how does he expect to get back on his feet if hes not working. Im under the impression that he wants handouts. Also, he has legal issues (unpaid tickets, a warrant for his arrest). Additionally, he has a child from a previous relationship that he hasnt seen in over a year that the babys mama wont let him see. I told him that Im going to support him as long as hes making an effort, but I dont see any actions, jut empty words and excuses. Im contemplating on ending the relationship because hes not handling his business like a man. I dont want to make it seem as if Im leaving him mainly because hes not employed. I care about him dearly, but he may have to learn this lesson by himself. What should I do? MY RESPONSE: What should you do? Is that a trick question? You have been seeing the man for a few months and today needs to truly be your Independence Day. Umemployed, lack of ambition, too proud to work for minimum wage but not too proud to live off other people, a woe is me attitude, a deadbeat father (trust that he is lying about the mother not letting him see the child or she has a damn good reason for it), tickets, a warrant, and the list goes on and on. What is he doing for you if he is whining all the time? Oh, let me guess, he is great in bed? Sister, please, throw that one back today. After today, you have no one to blame but yourself for this foolishness. Instead of him getting a job, he sounds like your part-time job, keeping up with his problems. You cant save that man. I am sure women have tried before you and his childs mother probably thought she could change him, too.
Posted on: Fri, 04 Jul 2014 13:51:42 +0000
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