SOMETHING OF A JOURNEY March 20, 2014 by margaretrduns@gmail Leave a Comment Having reached some kind of resolution about how to set about becoming a blogger, perhaps it is time to give you a potted history of my journey through life so far. A lot will be left out for the time being only to be included and expanded on at some later date, I am sure, but I hope this will begin to give you a flavour of what sort of person is behind the blog and what concepts have become important to me along the way. I hope you will find plenty of things that resonate with your own aims and wishes, or perhaps it will just be interesting to read for a while and then move on to whatever your day brings you. So, I will just start: I am about to begin a story just for you. It is about me and it is always beginning. Like my life, the story may not have neat edges and satisfying resolutions but I hope it will have fascinating insights and anecdotes and that the effect of reading it will be to set you thinking about the real issues that confront us all on this magnificent journey towards ourselves. It is earthy. It is true. And it is never ending. It goes on and on and on, no matter how I feel about it and will continue until I wake up. Until we all wake up. Dear reader, welcome to the story of one woman’s journey. Let me begin: More out of life….. I have developed a theory over the last four decades that says that everyone – absolutely everyone – is looking for more out of life. It’s certainly true of me. I could do with a lot more of many things, including of course the usual long list of materialistic items. But, when it comes down to it, my record of going for material success is not good. That is definitely not what has driven my life and some might be inclined to think me misguided as a result. However, I’ve not been driven by what others think of me either, and for that I am truly grateful. If I had been I probably would have hit the brick wall many years ago. For mine has been a most unconventional life – interesting and fascinating to hear about and absolute h**l to live (some of the time). I was brought up in a very “interesting” part of London with a lot of streetlife and a turbulent, dramatic history among a family that I will one day write about but only hesitate because nobody will believe it! One day I will shake all that off, like water off a duck’s back, but that ability has not quite arrived yet. My early experiences continue to dominate my thinking and responses and I consider myself a dyed in the wool original thinker as a result. More about the earlier times in the next blogs. I’m going to jump to the point where I consider my journey really began, at the age of 30, by which time I had always expected myself to be settled into a lifetime. Perhaps I was about to learn a lesson that was to become very significant to me – never expect anything. Change of direction “If you are afraid of loneliness do not marry” Anton Chekhov At the age of 30 I changed my life dramatically forever, walking away from marriage and security because it was such a lonely, insecure existence and striding towards uncertainty, risk, financial insecurity and many other imponderables. I have never looked back. So much so that, even today, talk of stability, planning, “being settled” and financial security bring me out in a rash. And yet, I have to tell you here and now that I am a complete fraud. I feel completely “settled”, stable and secure and have my own life plan somewhere or other but seldom feel the need to refer to it because it is written on my heart. I just live it out with complete confidence that all will be well – in the end. You are right – I have almost come a cropper several times because of this nigh to suicidal love of freedom. The thing that has saved me, and continues to save me to this day and will always bail me out, is my very own secret. And that is………. There always has been and always will be “something with me”.
Posted on: Sat, 22 Mar 2014 18:12:13 +0000
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