Salaams all, this is a post midday check in. Today i have heard so much sadness, so much suffering and it made me sit back and think.... I am stronger than I thought I was, I deal with things differently. I live and let live easily, I forgive easily, I move on instantaneously. But I also learnt that even though I was married to an absolute monster, it wasnt all bad. We had some amazing, awesome moments. He never forced himself on me, yeah he physically abused me and beat me, but I am so past that, to the point where my selective memory just remembers the good stuff. The fact that he was in my bed every night, he didnt cheat, he was possessive (ok maybe to the nth degree) But as pyscho as he was, I know he loved me and loves me still. And that I wasnt a bad person, he just had parts of his personality he couldnt control and his own demons to fight. So I made a bad choice...yeah Do I regret it? Hell NO! it was good, bad and ugly! Does my bad choice make me a bad person? Hell NO, it just means I am human, I dont judge people, I give them my full trust and its up to them to retain it. You know i can safely say I have no regrets, the good parts were awesome and what a marriage should be. It should be about showers, and feeding each other and combing each others hair and laughing and great coitus and magic and sharing every God given moment together, which we did. But the bad parts were bad, where if he had to share me in any way he would rather have me dead. A crazy kinda love, guess I have that effect on most! #BeingNurul-Imaan
Posted on: Mon, 31 Mar 2014 12:53:09 +0000
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