San Francisco Globe Saturday, December 27, 2014 | 4:22 PM | iPhone App · Android App Like this story? Please share! When A Bank Charged This Senior A Bogus Fee, Her Response Is Pure Gold Close Share Please like us to get more great stories like this Close A Senior Sends Her Bank An Angry Letter After Getting A Bogus Charge December 26, 2014 If you have ever lived on a tight budget, you know how difficult it can be to time your payments to make sure all your bills get paid. Even with the best of intentions, you may wind up with an overdraft fee. If a deposit occurs on the same day as a payment, but the payment is processed first and results in an insufficient funds bank charge, it can be extremely frustrating. This letter, while not actually sent to a bank, reflects the frustrations felt by many banking clients. We at SF Globe found this letter a fun way to let off some steam and fantasize about giving banks a piece of their own medicine. Thankfully, a series of class action lawsuits and new banking regulations passed in 2011 has stopped some of the more unscrupulous practices held by banks regarding overdraft fees. Still, banks generated almost $32 billion in overdraft fees in 2013 alone. What are your most frustrating banking stories? Have you found a way to avoid some of these traps? Please share them with the rest of the fans in our comments section. Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Dear Sir: I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years. You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank. My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways. I noticed that whereas I personally answer your telephone calls and letters,- when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overarching, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become. From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person. My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate. Be aware that it is an OFFENSE under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope. Please find attached an Application Contract which I require your chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know about as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof. In due course, at MY convenience, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Let me level the playing field even further. When you call me, press the buttons as follows: IMMEDIATELY AFTER DIALING, PRESS THE STAR (*) BUTTON FOR ENGLISH #1. To make an appointment to see me #2. To query a missing payment. #3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there. #4. To transfer the call to my bedroom in the case I am sleeping. #5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature. #6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not home. #7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is required. The password will be communicated to you at a later date to that Authorized Contact mentioned earlier. #8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7. #9. To make a general complaint or inquiry. The contact will then be on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service. #10. This is a second reminder to press * for English. While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call. Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement. May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous New Year? Your Humble Client And remember: Dont make old people mad. We dont like being old in the first place, so it doesnt take much to p**s us off.
Posted on: Sat, 27 Dec 2014 21:19:29 +0000
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