Scene from yesterday.... On the phone with Travelocity to rebook an unused ticket from last year... sitting in the parked car with a friend of mine to avoid the pouring rain destroying my cell phone, while rep after rep kept passing my call around despite having my original itinerary ID number... i guess each rep had some sort of phobia that could not handle this oh-so-rare request to revive and reissue a new ticket. After 20 minutes, I realized my request fell upon Travelocity as burdensome as if I asked them to revive the Do Do Bird. The arduous wait of each successive transfer was met with a cheerful prerecorded voice announcement of a young woman who deeply appreciated my business and promised me that the next available representative would be with me shortly, please hold. Of course, this womans standard English was in stark contrast to each live rep whom either I could not understand or they could not understand me, as I was forced to retell my story anew as i landed in a new country with each transfer. By the time I reached the seventh transfer 30 minutes later, I experienced the epiphany that Travelocity did not refer to human body travel, but rather human voice travel. It was like Travelocitys version of Where in the World is Matt Lauer? My eight transfer was met with the familiar girls prerecorded voice and my recognition of where I last heard that shrill, and disconnectedly too-pleasant-tone-of-voice: The Bride of Chucky-circa 1998, Lowes Theater. This time, as the recording began, my friend, now being held hostage in a car with windows so steamy we couldnt see out, frustratingly spoke over The Bride of Chucky with we appreciate your business and value your time, your next available representative hasnt been born yet, please hold... Of course, this descended us both into laughter as the rain pelted our parked car... Today, I sit here exhausted, having given birth to my new friend, Ozzie, a Do Do Bird, who keeps repeating what the eighth rep told me: Sir, sir, you have to contact Alaska directly to reissue your ticket... Aahraaark!!
Posted on: Thu, 10 Apr 2014 00:42:59 +0000
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