September 24, 2014: One year - how is that possible? On the other hand, how long it has been since we have seen that smile, heard that laugh, felt that kindness or been able to witness someone truly living each day with integrity and no regrets? Anniversaries tend to make us remember what we were doing on that date a year ago and losing Dan is not something one really wants to remember, so instead our children took a day off from work, came home (our son Anson and Holly even joined us from Illinois through FaceTime) and we celebrated what we had been given, a wonderful, loving dad, husband, grandfather and family, not what we have lost. Anniversaries also tend to make us reflect. As I look back on the year I try not to dwell on what I lost, but focus on what it has given me. This is what I have learned: 1. I am blessed with the most loving, supportive family and friends. Without them I would never have been able to survive the last two years. Their kindness and generosity sustain me. 2. I can do it myself, even when I dont want to! 3. I dont hate cancer, I hate what it does to people. Although cancer devastated the life we knew, it also gave us many gifts. The caring staff, doctors and nurses at Bliss are truly a gift to all patients and families facing this battle. It brought friends back that our busy lives had pushed aside. It gave our family a closeness and bond I didnt think could be any stronger and it brought back a love and closeness between Dan and I that had been taken a little for granted after 40 years. 4. I am glad we found some fun in cancer and could laugh because I have always thought it so important to find fun in whatever you face so you can remember with a smile. 5. I dont like grocery shopping, taking out the garbage and having to make all the decisions! 6. Dealing with lonely is much easier than dealing with being alone. 7. No matter what your life was like or how much you complained before you lose a loved one, the one wish you would like granted is to have your old life back. 8. It is easier to handle the big things that you prepare yourself for, its the little things that pop up and surprise you that throw you for a loop. 9. The hardest part about the one year anniversary is up until now when I thought about what was happening a year ago, Dan was there and now that is no longer true. 10. God will light many paths for you, but if you dont have the courage to look you will never see them! The most important thing I have learned is how important it is to keep their memory alive. We celebrate Dan daily! We talk about him, share memories, stories, laughs and tears. We go to the cemetery for holidays and on his birthday had a party at his grave. It not only comforts us, it brings us together and the grandchildren still have their Papa and feel his love through all of us. I have found that I spent much of this first year living life the way I thought Dan would like. I made decisions based on what I thought he would want me to do and even did things around the house his way, even some of the things that made me mad when he was alive! I think in some small way we do this trying to give them back the life that was taken from them. I found a quote that said you must be willing to let go of the life you planned to be able to live the life you are given. So this year I will strive to live my life, embrace the life I have been given because after all how many of us are really living the life we planned? I will convince myself that moving on does not mean letting go because I have learned that Dan and the love and life we shared will always be part of me. I will carry him with me always no matter where my life leads. The only thing that is truly gone is the cancer. Dan will live on through his family, his friends, the memories he left us and the love he gave us. So in his memory lets all embrace the life God has given us by: living each day, taking advantage of daily opportunities that will come your way and live each day with integrity! Dan Woodin........May 26,2013
Posted on: Thu, 25 Sep 2014 20:11:38 +0000
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