Setting: A small-town constitutional democracy, open for business. - TopicsExpress

Setting: A small-town constitutional democracy, open for business. No customers are inside, despite an obvious sale going on. US CITIZENS is behind the counter, looking anxious. JOHN BOEHNER and RAFAEL “TED” CRUZ enter. JOHN: Nice little place you got going here! Real nice. It’s a shame no one’s in a shopping mood today, ain’t it? TED: We’ve been running people off!! JOHN: Shut up, Ted. Like I was saying, real nice. It’d be too bad if it had to close down ‘cause of lack of business. My associates and I, we’re real good at bringing people in. You hire us, we’ll make sure your customers keep shopping here. JOHN picks up a photo of CITIZENS’ child, TREASURY BONDS. JOHN: Say, cute kid! I heard about how he got shocked a couple years back, dropped from a triple-A to double-A plus? Real shame, that. Real pity. It would be just terrible if something were to hit him again. But that would take someone doing something real stupid, wouldn’t it? And you’re not stupid, am I right? TED: He’s not stupid at all! He’ll pay us off, you watch! JOHN: Ted, sometimes you just gotta learn to shut your mouth and let others do the talking. They leave. CITIZENS looks fondly at the photo, and starts pricing flights to Canada.