Several weeks ago a man in his late-fifties and his eighty-some-year-old father stopped by my home-office to have me look at the fathers laptop, which he said was giving him trouble. I invited them both into my office while I looked at the machine, which wasnt really having that big a problem. However, when the younger of the two started back out to get his checkbook from their car, the father suddenly blurted out, Dont leave me alone here with this guy! I dont know him! He might be a Jew! Or a gay! I could tell from the sons pained expression that this wasnt the first time his father had said or done something like this in front of others, but I could also tell from the older mans speech and behavior before this moment that his outburst wasnt a function of dementia or medical mental incapacity. The older man really was a bigot of the worst sort, and here he was in my office (which is also my wifes and my bedroom). I raised my right eyebrow in a typical Mr. Spock reaction, said not a word in reply and continued finishing up with the computer, after which I wrote up the invoice with my regular charge for the time. I told the son (who had since returned from his car) that the problem appeared to be corrected and that if there were any further problem with the laptop he could call me. The older man didnt even seem to recognize the import of what he had said, nor did he thank me (but the son did). The old mans spontaneous and shameless display of bigotry against other kinds of people (neither of which I am, although he did not know that) deeply offended me personally, morally, religiously, and politically. It expressed the kind of hatred and intolerance that I oppose to the core of my being. I felt like slamming the laptop shut, calling out the old man for his hateful words, and ordering him and his son out of my house. I did not. Instead, I completed the work on the computer and, as I stated above, wrote out the invoice and gave to the son my standard offer of follow-up work if necessary. I did this not out of worry or fear of the old man but rather out of a my own sense of personal integrity to complete the work that is my profession and the conviction to be a better man than the pathetic creature before me. My own sense of self-respect is more important to me than getting into an impromptu shouting match with someone who appeared to have been holding such intolerant views for longer than Ive been alive. In honoring my own sense of integrity, I gave the old man the respect that he did not deserve... and myself the respect that I do.
Posted on: Thu, 23 Oct 2014 15:32:22 +0000
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