Sickle Cell is a tough job but somebodys got to do it! It pays peanuts too; but Im not in it for the money, its the lessons that each one of us teach so that in the future our children will wont have to experience what do. Just last year, around this very same time I had a heart infection. Spent 14 days in the hospital about 2 weeks after I spent a week after having a total shoulder replacement. I had to be sent home on intravenous antibiotics twice a day. I had a physical therapist, a nurse and a home health care nurse coming to the house every other day! I wanted to give up. At one point I was giving up. It was so ironic that I had to have an actual IV at home! I would always say I can do what the nurses do, if not better. It wasnt that I couldnt do it; it was just so overwhelming that I actually had to do it.... in a home setting. I hated the sight of it. I hated that my children had to see me hooked up to it two times a day when I did have them both together. I hated having to have help with it. I would cover the Iv pole up with a sheet or hang coats from it trying to pretend it was anything but what it actually was. I hated not being able to finish Christmas shopping without a mask on my face so I wouldnt get any sicker. Then the devil started using the people around me to push me further into depression. People constantly calling about money when they didnt even call the hospital the 14 days I was there. Then I find out people were using me and mishandling money. There was a feud between my in laws and my family, and both parties were getting on my nerves. People flat out telling me I expected you to die. It was a LOT going on. The devil was in my ear and I was listening. He brought up every single negative thing anybody ever said about me having Sickle Cell.. the altercations Ive had with hospital staff, the conversation I overheard about them being better off if I died, the ignorance of people comparing my sickness with other people like me.. Lucifer said to me, Mary, skip those doses of medicine and let the infection run its course. Arent you tired of being a burden. Arent you tired of this pain that God is watching you struggle with. Look at those ugly scars youve got from it. Both your hips are fake, your shoulder is not real either; YOU ARE WITHERING AWAY PAINFULLY AND SLOWLY! It was evident that he was in room with me. My niece walked in the room and asked me why did the room smell so bad. If you know anything about the Bible, then you know demons have a terrible scent. There was no reason for that room to smell like that. He had been there. I skipped the medicine three days straight until God spoke to me in the early hours of the fourth day. It was short and it was enlightening.. God simply asked me, Have I ever forsaken you? I got outta the bed and got on my knees and repented. I asked him to forgive me for being weak spiritually! I thanked him for his grace and mercy. God is most definitely a forgiving and healing God; and I trust him. Ive been too close to death too many times and he brought me out of it. I missed a total of 6 bags of antibiotics after my doctor specifically told me not to miss a single dose because it will spread and I would be facing open heart surgery. That didnt happen when it should have. God is an awesome God. Whatever the situation is He will see you through. Im excited to share my story with you. Sickle Cell is hard but dont let it discourage you. We are here for a reason dont ever forget that.
Posted on: Tue, 23 Dec 2014 22:24:36 +0000
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