Since Ira wrote a letter in which he offered his version on how our marriage ended, I feel the need to issue a correction. I didn’t ask for a divorce because I met Jason; I asked for a divorce because I wanted to be free from a marriage and a lifestyle that was against my beliefs and that asked me to be someone I’m not. As most of you know, I asked for a divorce two years ago, but was guilted into returning. Things were better for a while, but slipped quickly into the same old ways. I’ll spare you the details, no one is better off hearing of such things. In the beginning of this year I realized that I simply couldnt t continue. The way our lives were arranged was completely unsustainable for me. It took many months to gain the courage to do something about it, and I had a friend who helped me over the worst. After Ira moved out, I began to slowly gain my sense of independence and wellbeing. But I knew he wasn’t going to give in easily; it was going to be a fight, as it so often is, because emotions get the best of us. Fast track to October. I had no intention of getting involved with anyone, and I was just waiting for Ira to give in, but one day Jason Dye and I messaged each other as we had many times over the four years we’ve known each other on FB. The three hour discussion ended up with us realizing we actually liked each other. It wasn’t such a surprise really, for we are both intellectual equals, share the same passion for justice and equality, we both write and advocate, and we share the same sense of humor, and want the same things in life. I waited a week before I told Ira I would file for a divorce since I now had a very compelling reason to do so. He didn’t believe me first, and began to tell me how he was trying to work things out for us. I stopped him and said, “I don’t love you anymore, and I’ve met someone else.” I had hoped that it had been enough for me to tell him about the filing, but since he was still under the impression that we would get back together I had to help him see that it wasn’t going to happen. I’m telling you all this because I don’t want any of you to think for even one second that Jason caused the divorce, or that he had anything to do with why my love for Ira died. It was a lot of little things over the years, as is usually the case. Jason and I simply found each other in a moment when I had already left my marriage and was only waiting to fill out the paperwork. We wanted to keep our relationship to ourselves until we were ready to talk about it, but since Ira told all of you that I was seeing someone else, I figured I better tell you all about it before rumors spinned the story out of control. I love Jason, and I hope you are all happy for us, for we are. I ask you not to judge us based on the way this whole thing happened, for it was beyond our control. You cant always choose when you fall in and out of love, but you can choose whom you love. I am happy now, and I know I will remain so. I want to move on with my life, and I want all of you to be part of this transition. Ill still be the same, just a little different. I know you all will understand for I have the best friends anyone could ask for.
Posted on: Sat, 22 Nov 2014 01:31:39 +0000
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