Sitting here thinking about the road I chose to take 13 years ago. Tracy had just passed away and our whole world had changed. I picked up my first pill to dull every emotion I was having, not knowing that one pill would soon become my life. That one pill led to many more. Over time, I not only had others blinded by my lies, I also believed every justification I had. Consequences came, people who loved me tried to help...but my addiction was stronger. My children suffered, my family, anyone who knew me was affected. When I would try to become clean, I would ask God to help me but as soon as I would get over being sick from withdrawal symptoms, I would go get another pill and forgot about God. I only called out to him when I needed a miracle. God puts people into our lives for reasons. For me, it was a cook at Carter County Detention Center. She brought me a colored hard boiled egg on my tray for Easter. I dont know her name but it was when I saw that egg, I truly realized I was where I was at because of ME, not anyone else, my circumstances, what happened to me...Just the choices I made when I picked up that first pill. That will be 7 years ago in March. So if you or anyone you know is suffering in addiction, never give up hope because we do recover. God places recovery in our lives every day whether it be through a policeman, social worker, recovery center, a friend, family member, just anyone. Life gets better each day day. People tell me all the time, Kelly, you got this. I dont. God has got me and that is something I thank him for every day, not only for the last 6 1/2 years but also waking up today clean and sober and loving my life today and everyone in it. Trust and faith in your prayers because God always answers.
Posted on: Tue, 02 Dec 2014 13:49:35 +0000
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