Sitting here waiting to leave for Riverside National Cemetery. Im dressed, make up on, jewelry in place with my heart screaming, NO! I dont want to bury my husband. I want him home, well and being Rick. What I am beginning to come to terms with is that life, as badly as I hurt is not all about me. Not in any aspect. This world, this life, my heart, my family--they all are in Gods wheelhouse. He created this world thus He has the right to move it in any direction He chooses. I can make choices right here and now that will affect me and everyone I know. I can be be angry at God, just plain, flat out, raving angry. I can be fatalistic, yet passive/aggressive with God and say, Its your world youre going to do what you want, while remaining bitter. I can be now and permanently sad in theoh, poor pitiful me, mode or I can accept that my friend and beloved Jesus loves me so much and knows not only what I, but all those in my world (or as Pastor Tom calls it, my oikos) need more than I can figure out. Im choosing Jesus. I hope you will trust my friend, Jesus. Im not talking about anythingreligious. Just opening your heart to listening to what He might have to say to you. Because today, I am standing!...able emotionally to bury my most wonderful Prince Charming, an event I never believed I would be called upon to do, nor imagined I could live through. Then I am going to come home and begin to LIVE as both Rick and the Lord have requested of me. To honor both of them I will do my best. I love you all for walking with me, praying for me and holding my hand. Can the very shaky Pam Daggett ask for your continued prayer? God bless you.
Posted on: Wed, 07 Jan 2015 16:52:00 +0000
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