Sitting in the hospital at visiting time a lull in conversation is broken with Oh, you were in the paper the other day...what i clicked ? ...master chief...definitely you.. no i say, i would have remembered being shouted at by two fat twats about how amazing shit was 24 hours earlier in the day .... next day however, about the same time during visiting, a lull in conversation again hits the rocky coast of a bed side vigil... oh look what i brought... a newspaper clipping is gingerly pulled from a bag, see it is you..... that i say with an air of dreary dismissal looks nothing like me .. oh it does comes a chorus of voices over my protestations look at that pointy head and everything.. to cut a story as short as is humanly possible from this Alan Bennett like talking head of a situation, the family at the bed opposite was then drawn in to the ad hock photo identity parade taking place. An indian looking family surrounding what to me looked for all intensive purposes like a female Mahatma Gandhi, but with long silver hair and about the size of a small voodoo doll with a red dot on her forehead the size of a dinner plate.. oh yes, they say, eyes switching from newspaper clipping to me sat awkwardly in high backed vinyl visitors chair... yes, yes indeed, in indian accent it is a most amazing resemblance of the gentleman sitting before us, is this not truly you?.. there is then inter family twittering about me, how Sean connerys son has let him self go, robin of sherwood.. then confusion about why a english historical figure would steal from a more wealthy righteous cast, only to give it to a poorer and no doubt deserving in their miss fortune cast, that was most assuredly brought upon them selves from some miss deeds committed in a past life?....... well you get the picture, then suddenly the visiting older bearded gentleman stood up and announced, i too have a most amusing story of misidentification he laughed, you will never guess who i was once mistaken for? he said with broad smiling face looking at us. The entire cast of the kumars from number 73 also now laughing, began looking from him to us to him again..... a silent pause punctuates the air, just a little to long i felt, as two different cultures face each other across a hospital ward in expectation... as i silently thought...should i say Osama bin Laden or not..? .....he suddenly blurts laughing...Bangladesh..i was mistaken for Bangladesh...can you believe such a thing he laughed loudly again, as you can plainly see i am from..India ...the family to all then break out laughing.. whilst ours, stoic in angalo saxon resolve all stare in confusion at the kumars all roaring with laughter, in politeness we to then all laughed... whilst looking at each other in confusion not sure if we had missed some hidden meaning in the joke..all this as i clicked my heels under the chair pretending they were ruby slippers and hiding behind my eye lids thinking...this to shall pass, this TO...shall pass, as i suffered the longest most falsest laughing session i had ever endured, till eventually i could stand no more and jumped up blurting... im going for a piss and escaped out the door, momentarily catching in the corner of my eye the voodoo doll waving goodbye only to have...cook us a japati shouted after me as the two sides again roar with laughter....this time leaving me unsure, which laughs if any were false ?
Posted on: Tue, 03 Jun 2014 23:53:34 +0000
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