Smoking ------------- Hi CMs Im needing some advice/perspective on my current situation. When I first met my husband over 12yrs ago I mentioned in discussion that I would never marry someone who smoked (at this stage we had just met, had gone out a couple of times, just buddies). He said he didnt smoke (just in discussion, not to comply with my marriage requirements! This didnt happen until years later!) He then came up to me the following day and said actually he did smoke occasionally, mainly if he was having a drink with mates. He was sorry hed lied to me and didnt want to be a dishonest friend. I appreciated his honesty and on we went. So I never saw him smoke, he never did it if I was with him and once we were a couple we were pretty much together all the time. If he went away for the weekend then he prob had a few. No dramas I guess. I have my own stuff. No one is perfect! We have been married for 9 yrs. He has been doing a pretty stressful job lately and its not going to get any less stressful. I have found a pack of cigarettes in his jacket in the garage and he said they were from ages ago. I believed him and we agreed to chuck them out. I have been quite wary since and have found a butt in the yard and can smell it on him. I have confronted him and he puts himself down and agrees hes not coping with the stress very well. My issues are that I want to help him find better ways of dealing with his stress but I feel he has low self esteem and doesnt want my help. I am also angry with him for lying and wonder what else he might be lying about. To me smoking is a sure way to die early and we have 4small children. I already do everything at home and dont get much help from him with the kids. Now to manage his stress he is choosing something to also increase poor health and to me I just see selfishness. I want to support him but feel like Im running the whole family and Im already stretched to the limit looking after everyone elses needs. What do I do...?
Posted on: Thu, 23 Jan 2014 11:04:53 +0000
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