So, I had a really bad day today, and I let this crap get to me, I allowed it in, my own damn fault. I have been losing weight like crazy over the past four weeks, 15 pounds in the last 28 days, and over 30 in the last couple of months, before two days ago. Ive been averaging between 1000-1200 calories per day, and exercising just about every day. This morning, before work, I weighed myself, and the scale showed a 2.5 pound GAIN! I was STUNNED! Ive been doing everything right, everything I was supposed to be doing. Nothing perfect, mind you, but everything was in line. Now, Im not stupid. I know the body goes through adjustments. I also have been watching my, shall we say, waste production, and that system had slowed down. I had not passed anything in two days (sorry guys), and I know that can make a difference. Its just my brain and my emotions would not sync, and I left the house in a seriously ROTTEN mood! Work SUCKED...period! It was busy, and I honestly was not happy with the way I ran the board today. I just couldnt get in any kind of groove, and I just couldnt get out of that lousy mood. I take walks during my breaks and I tried to use those to get out of my funk, but they didnt help. I just couldnt get out of my own way today. And I know no one really give a crap how I feel one way or the other there (for the most part), and I know Im not Mr Super dispatcher or whatever, but I try to do a good job for the patients, and when my performance suffers because my heads not in the game because of my own shit, that bothers me. People can say this or that about me, Im not professional, or Im an asshole or whatnot, but I care about those people, and I dont think I did my best for them because I was messed up in my own head today, and that sucks. Im disappointed in myself, and I cant stop thinking about it, and I have to go to sleep now, and Im wide awake.
Posted on: Fri, 18 Jul 2014 03:28:52 +0000
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