So I have been thinking a lot lately, mostly about my dad. He is on my mind daily but more often than usual as it gets closer to his memorial. On July 21st 2007 my brother and I tragically lost our father. We had to endure important milestones in our life without him physically there to see and celebrate our accomplishments with us. At the time he had passed, I was 20 going on 21 about to become a mother and finish my first degree that fall and my little brother Junior; he was only 15 barely hitting high school. Also during that time, I was still in Kansas scared to death about becoming a mother, alone and away from family. Naturally I freaked out when I got that horrible call six years ago, I was working that evening for Checkers at the time, it’s a grocery store and I was making $6.50 an hour. I was trying to save up for a new place for my baby and me because there wasn’t family housing on campus available to us. Anyway, that evening my aunts from Missouri came for me, I couldn’t stand to be alone and I needed to get to Minnesota so they drove me all the way to Minneapolis where my best friend came for me to take me to the rez. I made it home for the services and never really fully grieved the way I should of because I had Zae growing inside. I did cry but I didn’t as much as I should of because I knew she would feel what I felt. That time I was home was one of the worse times I have ever dealt with in my life. My father meant a lot to me because he was all I knew, he wasn’t mine by blood but by heart we were us. Him being there for me like he was has always had a huge effect on my life because there were times I felt like I wasn’t wanted, I felt like an odd ball in our family. But he always made sure I knew that’s where I belonged and he would always be there for me no matter what. On good terms or not, he was always there. You can ask anyone of his friends, he was very proud of my brother and me. And neither of us was treated any different. As the years have passed I dwell on that a lot. There aren’t many men out there that can do that for a woman no matter how much they may love them. My father was truly one of a kind, a very loveable funny outgoing man and life of the party to many. Normally on his memorial or his birthday, I have a drink or two in his memory. But I have been thinking, I want to do something else in his memory. I want to do something that will have a more positive affect and honor him in a more sensible way. I want to do something that will have more meaning. So I have come to the conclusion that I am going to start a scholarship fund in memory of him. I am a huge advocate of education and I know first had all the struggles a person goes through to accomplish a degree or two or three even. I am currently working on my Master’s in Business Administration and even though I work full time and make decent pay, I still find myself struggling to buy my books. I know once I start to draw out the plan for this scholarship fund it will be some time before its actually available but it is something I am going to do. I always wanted to start a non-profit for people who are in need of aid in educational expenses and what not, so this will be my stepping stone. It won’t be a lot of Zhoons (money) at first but as I grow and become more successful so will this fund. But like I said, as a student who may not have enough for books or a new laptop, a scholarship worth $100-500 can be a lot when you have little to none or don’t get any kind of help from your own tribe. So mark my words people, after this year I will be starting this. The logistics as to whom and when this will become available will be revealed soon. I will be speaking with my brother, our grandmother and other family members that may want to help first. A work in progress, to be continued….
Posted on: Thu, 11 Jul 2013 20:04:43 +0000
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