So I was just challenged by my ex-coworker and dear friend Andrea Duval Johnson to start a daily regimen of grattitudes starting here and now, and I think it a damn fine idea. So, without further ado: 1) My family. For better or for worse I feel Ive been the rather distant black sheep of the family, but somehow these people are still always there for me -- even when Ive failed at doing so in kind -- and with nary a frustrated word, somehow. Its an honor bestowed and not earned to be cared for in such a way by such a caliber of persons. 2) My general post in life. Ive been blessed -- or whatever equivalent but more secular term you may personally prefer -- to not by only not destitute and directionless but to in fact have a life shaped largely as Id wanted it. Im living and working in New York City with my best friend, persuing my dreams with relative abandon and living comparatively comfortably besides. I really cant have asked for a better roll of the dice as it stands. 3) Of course completely out of left field: You. My friends, family and acquaintances who have, to a completely unexpected degree, absolutely avalanched me in support, concern, and general good vibes. The thing is, my whole life Ive dealt with this gnawing certainty in the pit of my stomach that Im some creep weirdo that no one wants to associate with or be around and am just kind of a general rolling trainwreck of a person -- and the thing is that there are certain elements of truth vis. a real degree of instability I posess as a person that lend it much more credence as part of my inner monologue. And I feel quite guilty with the thought that maybe my post this morning was nothing but a pitiful grab for attention, or that at least that was a large part of it -- I really dont know, I clearly was not thinking clearly at the time. But whatever my motive was does nothing to detract from the absolute sainthood of those including, but certainly not limited to, Gail Ives, Jill Witten, Jonah Steenbergh, Joe Pioch, Sakurako Kaga, Constance Sliger. Heather Ann Trudeau, Matthew Mitchell, Gordon P. Strozier, Caitlyn Grab, Shelby Coleman, Terra Lockhart, Jennifer Renee Florida, Michael Hilden, Chris Day, Susan Marlin-Zeisler, Joyce Marlin Jones, Jordan Kamal, Chris Norman, Esther Rupert, Milton Brown, Kateland Fryfogle, Robb Anthony, Sam Scott, Patrick M Ives, Kathryn Obidzinski, Lauren Yoon, Anthony Hendrick, and Jaime Jimenez for offering your support and love without hesitation. There are certainly people far more deserving and in need of such compassion in the world, and you all deserve far more than just my thanks, though I dont know what I could offer. I woke up today dreading having to face what I had plastered onto my wall like an angsty teenager, and when I finally did and started reading the responses I started welling up, still just about as ashamed but so incredibly thankful for the existence of truly good people in this world. Thank you so very, very much.
Posted on: Mon, 25 Aug 2014 04:24:54 +0000