So, Selah and I had a bit of a traumatic evening with her SpongeBob SquarePants aquarium, specifically with Mr. Crabs and Gary the Snail. I was getting ready to put Selah to bed when I noticed the usually elusive Mr. Crabs was sitting on the bottom of the tank, just munching away on his dinner of freeze dried brine. I called Selah in to watch, because Mr.Crabs is really cute when he eats. But not tonight. Tonight Mr.Crabs was a vicious predator! As he was eating, Gary the Snail started to meander by, and I do mean MEANDER, in his adorable, little, innocent way. Out of nowhere, Mr. Crabs lashed out with one deadly claw and grabbed him by the tentacle thingy, (not his long eyeball thingy, thank goodness), and before I even knew what was happening he was dragging poor Gary the Snail into the dark cavern of Squidwards house! I can only imagine the horror that would have transpired inside that dungeon of death. I happen to have a great love for our Gary the Snail, and needless to say, a battle ensued. I was unable to film the battle itself, unfortunately, because I needed both hands to literally, with a wooden spoon, wrestle poor Gary the Snail from the deadly clutches of the now bloodthirsty Mr. Crabs. Heaven help me, it was horrific. The fish tank was in shambles, the other fish were cowering behind the filter, which was the only thing that didnt get ripped up in the melee, and Im pretty sure that I peed my pants, just a little. I kid you not, folks, it was a horror show. I am happy to report, however, that our precious Gary the Snail survived the merciless attack to live another day, and Mr. Crabs will be moved to a home of his own, solitary confinement if you will, as soon as possible. I mean really, a snail? Its not like he can run away. Or swim. Or anything. And yes, Selah is fine. But she did scold Mr. Crabs quite severely to which his response, sadly, was to flip us the claw. I myself will not be sleeping tonight, as I will be standing guard over Gary the Snail, lest Mr. Crabs should suffer another psychotic break and attempt snail murder. Stay tuned for updates.
Posted on: Mon, 27 Jan 2014 06:26:58 +0000
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