So, in case you guys havent noticed, I have been very pro-marriage, pro-perfect wife here lately . About a month ago I realized I had no earthly idea how to be a wife, and I havent for the 5 years I have been married. Marriage is completely against how humans are wired. We were born with an instinct to survive, to look out for number one, usually with the exception of a mother when she has her child. But this instinct makes us selfish, stingy, unforgiving people. Marriage is hard work because you take two people who have the above qualities and put them together in a house with all the stresses of day to day life, and the result can be disastrous . Divorce is so common because of our primal nature. We are made to want to procreate, keep our race alive .. But we are not just animals .. We dont just have instincts. We have feelings, emotions, wants, needs. We race into relationships and marriages based on a deep biological need and divorce because of our me, me, me mentality. I always accused Johnny of not putting into our marriage. He was cold-hearted, a butthole, he didnt care about me, no emotions for me, no cares for his family. He was just acting like any other human who didnt know better would in a marriage, he was trying to deal w sharing his life with another when every part of him was screaming me, me, me , not us, us, us. So what did I do ? I was perfect and did nothing wrong! ;) I went into my selfish, stingy, me mentality and yelled and nagged and purposely hit him where it hurt. I was a mirror of the hurt in my heart and I added a magnifying glass. I didnt care if I was doing my part or if I was the wife I needed to be, I just cared about what Johnny WASNT doing. So since we were both focused on ourselves instead of each other our marriage suffered . It almost shattered . We almost became another young couple statistic . But think of marriage as a checking account . At the start of your marriage it is like going to the bank and opening an account and putting in equal amounts of money in good faith that you will spend it fairly and wisely and add to it accordingly . The fault with marriages today is that both parties want to spend the money in the account to their own benefit, but they dont want to put anything back in . Sooner than later , the account is empty and is forced to be closed . A healthy marriage starts the same way .. But the amount spent IS equal, fair, and discussed. Then equal amounts are PUT BACK IN. From both parties. Then, on top of that, the healthy marriage opens up a savings account for the hard times . Johnny and I were at the end of our account , we were almost forced to shut it down . It was an absolutely dark and terrible time in my life and those who go through it , I am truly sorry . But I am so blessed to say that God gave us a loan October 28 , 2013 and the wisdom this time to manage it wisely . I am fully committed to my marriage now . I am committed to managing my account . I am committed to killing the selfish me, me, me thought process , no matter how natural and hard that may be . I know that staying together through good and bad almost seems archaic in todays times .. We are all about whatever gets things done the easiest, or the fastest .. Fast food , fast internet , fast cars , and fast cash . Hard work , slow and steady wins the race .. That is out of style .. But I am proud to say that my husband and I have taken a vow to make marriage work , no matter how slow the process or how hard the work. We have taken a vow to rebuild our foundation w God and pure love for each other . I will put into my marriage what I expect to get out . I will lift up my husband as high as I expect to be lifted up . So yes .. I am #promarriage , I am trying to be a #goodwife, and be living proof that #marriageworks! I am doing it for the covenant I made before God, I am doing it for Johnny, I am doing it for Rae, but most of all , Im doing it for me !!
Posted on: Tue, 03 Dec 2013 07:00:38 +0000
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